Reverse Resolutions

In 2009 I Will Not...

-Start eating more vegetables. Unless Hawaii has an abundance of broccoli or green beans which I LOVE.

-Eat ice cream more than three times a week. This is not a choice I gladly make. It is mostly because 1) most of the year I will not be around a freezer to store my ice cream and 2) I will only be able to afford ice cream on free scoop day at 31 flavors.

-Be sleeping in my own bed for at least half of the year and hopefully longer than that. I am once again entering the world of living out of backpack and sleeping in very random areas.

-Not meet new people. As a matter of fact, in a matter of hours, I will be meeting a bunch of people who will be my homies for the next half of a year.

-Start to like tomatoes. I keep trying, but it really has never worked for me. What can I say?

-Stop smoking, because I honestly never really started.

-Drink less, because you have to drink more to drink less.

-Stop being addicted to FaceBook. Too bad, world, I enjoy it. And until I am in the middle of Morocco or St. Petersburg or the Balkans, hanging out with my kids with no access to the internet, it's gonna stay that way.

-Make a New Year's resolution that starts like: "This year I resolve to....". I'm only resolving not to ______, thank you very much.

-Stop my amazing friends, family, and favorite guy that God has blessed me with.

Great News

So, the big news has arrived...OUTREACH LOCATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is the e-mail...

Hey Guys,
We're really excited for you to get here in a few days. We're continually praying for you. In our praying for outreach, we feel the Lord has been leading us to follow paths of injustice. We feel their are 3 paths we're supposed to follow. One starts in Morocco and goes through Europe to Amsterdam. The second route starts in the Balkans and goes through Europe to Amsterdam. The third route starts in St. Petersburg and goes through Scandinavia to Amsterdam. You will spend at least 1 month in a key location (such as - 1 month in St. Petersburg) and then the second month would be spent traveling to Amsterdam, which is our debriefing location.

So, praying about where God wants me...And packing. :) I fit everything into my backpacking pack and a carry-on backpack! My Mom was laughing at me and threatening to take pictures of the small amount of packing I did. So, pics may be up soon. Maybe...

In other news, I got in invite to interview for MSU's vet school program!!! However, it is in February in the middle of my training for YWAM. So, I will be declining the offer. If God wants me in, I suppose I'll be going to KSU or CSU. :)

Leaving on Thursday...Until then I plan on saying bye to my best friend, C, hanging with my hermana tomorrow night, and just spending time with my family. I will likely post another update before leaving, so until then...aloha! ;)

Hike and Soapbox

Just about three more days of living in my fabulous Colorado and being with some of my favorite people in the world. I have had quite a few people ask if I am excited in the last few days. I am excited. Very excited to see what God has in store and to hear His voice in these next few months. I can honestly say however that I am so unsure of what is in store for me (A good stretching experience) that I am more in extreme curiosity and a little bit of apprehension rather than excitement at this current moment...I know myself well enough though to know that I do this before all big stages or adventures in life. Give me a bit of time to get used to the situation, and I'll be ready to kick butt through the whole thing. ;)

Huge thoughts the past few days. And I feel like I am learning that it is okay to wonder these things and have these questions yet still be unsure. God has it in His hands, and I will know when I need to know. The concept of orphans has confronted me like fifty bazillion times in the last three days. Why is that? God, what are you trying to tell me?

It seems there is a reason God has not explicitly stated everything in His word for me. The point is not some formula to be followed. The point is a relationship with Jesus Christ. The point is that we were created to worship Him. The point is He knows how each of us can individually do that. I can only do that by spending time with Him as I would with someone I love.

Off the soapbox now. :) Yay for Sunday hikes in cold weather! My fabulous friends Carly and Aaron went with my family to one of the greatest hiking places near our house. Thus, pictures. The top one is the result of my Mom's yearly attempt to fit us all in a picture at once and looking presentable. This year was not so bad although it took several tries as usual...

Epiphany

Anyone who has been a Christian for more than two seconds has likely heard things about "spreading the gospel" and "bringing people to Christ". This has always been a question/struggle/curiosity in my mind for several reasons:

-Christians are not the only "kind" and "loving" people. We are not the only ones that work on humanitarian projects or go on missions trips. What makes us different?
-It is stinking hard to share with some people. Regardless of whether or not you say the "right things" a person could still be completely closed to the love of Jesus.
-Many people-especially in the United States-flat out don't want to hear about anything having to do with God, church, or the Bible. Often because they have been burned by it in the past.

I think I am realizing that life is simpler than I thought it was. I think the idea of a flaming person setting the world on fire for Jesus Christ is the idea implanted in our minds so much that we forget about another way. I am not saying this is the only way or the end all, but I wonder if it is not a bit simpler. For example:

-I was made to worship Jesus. Hands down, the end. Seems so easy.
-I am not needed to bring people to an understanding of the love of Jesus. It is all Him. He just allows me to be used.
-How else would I want to be using my time? I was left on this earth for that reason. Maybe I just need to shift my focus a bit...

In any case, that could be completely not cohesive and make no sense. However, these are the ideas running around in my head, so they are put down into history by writing them. Well, maybe not that extreme. ;)

Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas in Hawaiian)

It has begun!!! I got an e-mail today that contained *drum roll* the arrival information. Currently the whole thing seems very surreal. Sure I am leaving in 9 days, but that is FOREVER, so I just will avoid the thought. And no, I have not started packing. :)
It is not as if I don't want to go, it is just so big and unknown that I am not sure how to think about it-therefore I kind of avoid the thought currently.

Random Updates On the Subject
-The DTS will be revolving around "The Past Effecting the Future". Where that means I still do not know for sure, but I am praying about it and have my ideas. :)
-I still haven't decided yay or nay on the whole guitar bringing thing yet.
-My DTS has about 22 students in it, but the school overall has 250 students arriving for the January quarter!!!! Talk about taking over the world here...
-One thing I know about the whole thing. Orientation/welcome in Ohana Court. No, this is not a "Lilo and Stitch" movie. :) I am supposed to bring a gift as a "small expression of my culture". Colorado...A rock? :) Nah, any ideas?

Clarification and Comic and Lesson

Clarification: The interview I went to in Manhattan, Kansas this weekend was for a veterinary school interview. I will find out the verdict in two to three weeks, but the school does not start until the fall semester: in August or September. :)

Funny comic!!


Note to self: Boots can be caught on fire. It all started when I was driving home from P-town with the fabulous sis, Em, who is 3 years younger than me. We were driving along singing along to Avril. We have a tendency to sing ridiculous girl songs when we are together in the car. Anyway, I had an epiphony and realized that I had hand sanitizer and matches in my car. This is ironic in that hand sanitizer is 99.9% alcohol and very flammable. Before Em could grab the two, light it, and throw it out the car window, I suggested we wait until there weren't cars all around us who could copy my plates and get me busted big time. So, we waited until we were "safely" home in our driveway. I lit the alcohol on fire and had a nice little fire going. I probably could have roasted mini marshmallows actually. Anyway, after a few minutes of being in the -14 degree outdoors, I wanted to get rid of the fire and go inside. I tried to stomp it out, but found that hand sanitizer AND fire stick to a boot. Ah, that was fun. It was quickly remedied by stomping a lot, but Em kept laughing at the fact at I "set my shoe on fire". ;)

Good Music and What's Up

Good song!



Update in as few words as possible...
-Finished up the job in Breck my Dad and I had. I love Breck in the winter. It would be amazing to live up there for a month or so someday. ;)

-Interview also done. The drive to Manhattan and back was accomplished in two days. I got up at 5 am that morning to blow dry my hair, actually dress up. It felt great to walk out of the interview, knowing the rest was completely up to God. I should find out in a week or two. The school was also amazing. Talk about crazy cool facilities...

-It is possible to set a shoe on fire. Yes, I accomplished this. Quite fun.

-Talk about coincidences. I saw a girl in Manhattan that I used to work with in Canon. What are the odds of being at the right Chili's at the right time and place let alone the right city in Kansas...

-I wrote a song!!!!! My first ever. I have the words and the chords to the verses but I am waiting for some uber amazing inspiration for chords to the chorus. Hmmm....

-I leave in a matter of 10 and half days. Where does the time go? And how does one say good-bye to the most amazing friends and family ever for five months...

Announcement Part Dos

Driving. I don't even want to calculate how many hours I spent in a car. I was at CSU-P for 5 semesters. I drove in to school 3 to 5 days a week with an approximate 50 minute drive each way. That's a hundred miles a day. That's up to five hundred miles a week. That's up to 8000 miles a semester. That's up to 40,000 miles I have successfully driven. I should get get a plaque for that. Good times though. I officially know where every single station in the Pueblo/Fremont County area goes in and out down to the mile marker. And of course I know every song on every one of those radio stations. And some of the best conversations I have ever had have been in cars with my carpool buddies. Shout out to A!!! I loved your car, man. I was afraid it would burst into flames every time I got into it though. Go, K!! I am still sad that you had to leave me for CofO. Woohoo N!!! You really made me think. You had some fascinating ideas. Yay S!!! We still need to have a Highschool Musical marathon by the way.

Moving. Here is an ode to moving. I moved a total of 5 times in the entirety of my college career. That is an average of once per semester. The funny thing is that all my moving happened in one single year. I'll just chock that one up to a sense of adventure. Although by the 5th time one has to move a fish, a frog, and a hermit crab across the state of Colorado, it is a little old.

Sleep. I love my sleep. It is one of my best friends. But there are those semesters in which I stayed up until 1 or 2 in the morning and got up at 6:45 to leave town by 7 to make it to an 8 o'clock class. That was the semester I fondly entitle "The Jeans and T-shirt Semester". Not to say every semester isn't that way, but most other semesters I will break the mold once or twice a week by wearing *drumroll please* a nice shirt. Whoa! Yeah, I think my calc friends probably thought I was homeless. I wore the same thing for sixteen weeks. I am proud to say that I never pulled an all-nighter for studying though. I listened to my older and wiser friends on that point.

Breaks. I think this is the only time in life one gets two one week breaks, a four week break, and a twelve week break in the span of one year. It's really quite fabulous. My best adventures were had in these breaks...Mexico, Africa, spring break in Mississippi near a beach, wildlife rehab center, dirt farmer, subcontractor, and Cali on Turkey break to name a few.

Announcement Part Uno

I have an announcement to make....*long, suspenseful pause*....I JUST GRADUATED!!!!!! I officially (assuming I pass all my classes of course) have my BS (stands for bachelor of science, nothing else. Although I do admit I had to take a few b.s. classes in there...) with a minor in chemistry. In the middle of it, it seemed like years away-which technically it was-but in looking back, I feel like time flew. I think I have learned more in this short period of life than the other fifteen or sixteen years combined.

In the tradition of remembering stupid stories or lessons learned....

Obedience. Yup, that has probably been the most important lesson I have learned in this period of time. Hands down, God knows what is best for me. And trying to go against that does not work. Sure, I could say that was obvious with my mouth, but I had to have a hard lesson in trying to make a situation work before I realized I would be so much better off just waiting on God.

Organic Chemistry. This class truly was insane as all the rumors I heard of it when I was a freshie. I dreaded it, but once I got into it, it was probably one of the best classes ever because of the friends I made. We studied our butts off for this class about 4/7. Yes, four hours a day seven days a week. Seriously. We were so ridiculous we would actually make up extra problems and post them in "The Cave" for each other to figure out. Okay, so it sounds gay, but we all got A's and that is unheard of. So laugh all you want... ;)

No coffee. You know, I find it fascinating that I am not hooked on coffee. Everyone said I would be by the time I got the end of my undergraduate career. I am proud to say that I graduated not under the influence of any caffeinated compounds. I was high on life!!! Not coffee...Okay, so that was a little intense.

Amino acids. I think it is rather funny really because after spending likely 20 to 24 hours of my short life memorizing 20 amino acids, including their structures, their one letter designations, and their three letter designations, I will likely forget them by March 12th. Yeah, I'd say I may remember them for three months. Maybe...

To be continued...

The Old Man and a Good Song...

I always said to myself that I wrote in my notebooks because I wanted to be able to look back years down the road and see what I was like, what I was thinking, and how I have changed. I dragged out some of my old notebooks last night-about 9 for the past few years. I realize that it is probably closer to finding out how much I actually haven't changed and that I have the same struggles now that I did three years ago. :) Hopefully I am a little mature now than I was at 17 however.
I do realize the benefit of concluding that I have the same weaknesses. In order to fight, one must know what they fight against. I am a "striver". I am always striving for the next thing. The next project, the next mission, the next accomplishment. When I was in high-school, I was getting all my ducks in a row for CSU-P. When I got to CSU-P, I was trying to figure it all out to get to CofO. When I didn't get there, it was all about moving to Pueblo. And, you'll never guess but when I got to Pueblo it was all about getting back to Canon. He he...I must continue making the daily decision to live life to its fullest in the here and now. This is what He has gifted me with, and I choose to walk in it. While I will continue to prepare for the future, I want it to fade into the background as a small portion of life that He completely has in His hands.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

"Everything"
-Lifehouse

A Choice

I actually wrote this post a while back, but I realize one can come to the conclusion I came to and come across the same situation again. It seems that life is a series of decisions we must make daily.

Thinking so much about my kids in Webuye again lately. A question I have had since I went there continues to echo in my brain. Whether it is the kids I fall in love with in Africa or the people I fall in love with here, I realize there is always that fear of losing. It could make life so much easier to merely not let anyone else in and not risk that. But after thinking about it, I realize that a love would not be as strong if there wasn't a possibility of losing. If I knew it would always be there and I would never lose it, it would not mean half as much.

It is a choice between making yourself numb and feeling the cuts. It is a difference between not running and your lungs feeling nothing or running and letting your lungs scream for oxygen. My mouth feels like it is full of metal, and I feel the muscles in my leg with each stride. But the satisfaction and feeling of being alive that I get after running those 13 miles makes it all worth it.

So I make the choice to feel that pain. In that, I have also made the choice to feel. Which in actuality, I have realized, is a choice to live. And now I feel ready to take the world on. I'm ready for God to take me wherever. I want to meet new people, continue to grow in relationships with the ones I know, and leave the future in His hands.

Snow Day!!!

Last night we got about 4 to 5 inches of snow. God was listening to me. :) I asked for a good snow before I left for Hawaii and missed my favorite Colorado season: winter.

It all started with shoveling the driveway with Aubry. I think she successfully cleared about one square foot area. Ha ha...Then Joe, Aubry, and I trekked out to sled in the backyard. I decided to go sledding in my pj pants, no gloves, and my Dad's boots. You would be correct in assuming I am not equipped with snow gear this year. ;) If I am going to play in the snow, I might as well feel the burn of snow on my toes and soaking wet pjs pants on my legs, right?

Eventually, Mom and Micah came out. As you can see from the picture, we successfully got Mom to go down once. No serious injuries sustained. Situation well in hand. The only injuries sustained throughout the whole adventure were Josiah snowboarding into a tree and myself stopping in the middle of my descent with a knee on a rock. That is what happens when you try to sled in a Colorado desert backyard. That or cactus. I am thankful for the rock in comparison.

I intend to compile a book of college kid recipes at some point in my life in order to aid the student population in staying alive for their college careers. I discovered a new one to add to the list....Saute potatoes, add green beans at the last minute to get them warm, top with ranch dressing. Disgusting and yummy all at the same time. The perk? It has nothing to do with ramen noodles. A miracle really...

Brain Stir Fry

I think my brain has nearly reached that point of fried...As in, I read the same sentence three times, and I still don't know what I read two seconds later. Well, I am praying it will last me 3 days and 18 hours more. :) Today, I checked microbiology and environmental toxicology off the list. Woo hoo!! The 17 page microbiology test wasn't bad; the twenty page environmental toxicology was though...Praise God for successfully getting through two finals with only two more to go! Physics II and biochemistry are left. Almost there...

The joy of the Lord is my strength. I choose to daily place my thoughts in the fact that He has rescued me and allowed me to have a relationship with Him. With this in mind, an out of this world joy that supersedes the situations going on around me is possible. :)

Quotes

Some good quotes from this semester so far...

"Faith is not intelligent understanding, faith is deliberate commitment to a Person where I see no way. Are you debating whether to take a step in faith in Jesus or to wait until you can see how to do the thing yourself? Obey Him with glad reckless joy".
-Oswald Chambers

Me: Did you dye your hair?
My most amazing friend: Yeah. I got highlights and low lights.
Guy that was listening to the conversation: *deer in the headlights look while thinking what I was saying*
Me: What are lowlights?

"I believe there are hundred of thousands of young people who are just waiting for a really challenging, dangerous job that requires them to give up everything. You may be one. The reward? Being a part of the climaxing event of all history-taking the gospel to every person on earth".
-Loren Cunningham

Person one: So, I heard a quote in this movie the other day: "Love is friendship set on fire".
Person two: When will our friendship be set on fire? We could roast marshmallows.

Study friend: Geek
Me: Nerd
Study friend: Dork
Me: Freak
Friend: Oh, burn!!!!....You wear patchouli, don't you?

Excuses...

So, with the official last attendance of class happening this afternoon-YAY!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!! SWEET!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!-comes studying for finals. Well, the continuation of studying for finals. I generally find myself at this point in the semester-a time most critical for studying-to be in the least mood for it. Some examples of my excuses so far:
-I have not checked Facebook for a whole 30 minutes. I really need to check it.
-I know I ate like 20 minutes ago, but I wonder if there are any good snacks in the cupboard.
-My 3 ring binder just bit me. I'm suing someone and not studying anymore.
-Theoretically, I should know all this already. Why study?
-Why do I need to graduate again?
-My highlighter is out of juice. Oh well...
-Staring off into space....an hour later....oh, bummer, guess I better go to bed....
-Oh!!! I haven't blogged today. That was the most recent one I suppose. ;)

Well, I am certain that the next 6 days and 18 hour will fly by. No, I am not counting. Soon enough I will walk out of my last final and be on to the next challenge. I am excited to see what God has in store for this next season of life. I feel as if I have learned that I truly am not capable of doing something on my own. The only way I got through these last four years was by His grace and strength. I have also grown so much in these last two and a half years in Pueblo. I can hardly believe it flew by so fast, and I wouldn't have traded this period of time for the world. :)

In Your Presence, God, I'm Completely Satisfied

"Divine Romance" by Phil Wickam

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

Disturbing...

My guy, L, has been in Iraq for a whole month already!!! Only six more to go until I see him. So, I have decided we could be in the book for weirdest relationship ever. We met at the end of last summer when he was on leave, started courting/going out/whatever the day before he left to go back to base. I went to see him for a weekend about three weeks before he deployed. So, we have been together for like three months-whoa!!!!-and I have been around him for a total of three weeks. That makes me laugh out loud to myself as a matter of fact. :) I must say, however, that God is so evident in the whole thing so far. It was a random chain of events that let us meet each other to say the least.
So, dear reader (if at all existent), you must be asking yourself what provoked this paragraph. I was sitting here looking through some blogs. I came across Edge's blog where "Disturbia" was mentioned. I laughed when I realized I got a big smile on my face every time this song comes on the radio. It reminds me of going to Las Vegas and being at the Marine Corp ball with Rihanna blaring in the background. So much for high class Micheal Buble or something....But I probably wouldn't have a story to tell if that was the case.
In other news, 9 days until I finish up my bachelor's!!!! And 30 days until I start the next grand adventure: YWAM...

Word Vomit

So...

-I must be cursed to be sick on the day I have 3 tests and 2 quizzes.

-You can get blazed off of cough drops and ibuprofen. Don't chase the purple dragon!! :)

-I love to see my breath when I walk to class in the morning.

-Never make yogurt in your environmental micro project. It is a 65% certainty that you will barf.

-I still must figure out how to do linear regression on my calculator. I was instructed to do it over thanksgiving break, but I most certainly did not do that...

-This is the last crazy Wednesday of my undergrad. No more 10 to 6 full of classes here. Woohoo!!!

-So, I was just asked to speak at youth group. I think God listened to that thing I was talking about when I said I wanted to be stretched. ooops...He he...

-I feel like the clock by the computer always says 7:58. Maybe I'm always at the computer at that time. Oh!!!

-Goji berries look like little carrot bits. They are used for tea, and are actually quite drinkable.

-My bed hasn't been made for ages. I know this is normal to some but not me. I am religious about my room being neat. Well, speaking of not doing the norm, you should see my floor.

-I really should get some crickets for Obadiah. He's probably hungry.

-I just realized I leave in one month and one day for YWAM. How did this happen? Who's life am I living...

-I should probably end this post since I need to go to school, and I still haven't started warming up my poor little freezing car.