A Choice

I actually wrote this post a while back, but I realize one can come to the conclusion I came to and come across the same situation again. It seems that life is a series of decisions we must make daily.

Thinking so much about my kids in Webuye again lately. A question I have had since I went there continues to echo in my brain. Whether it is the kids I fall in love with in Africa or the people I fall in love with here, I realize there is always that fear of losing. It could make life so much easier to merely not let anyone else in and not risk that. But after thinking about it, I realize that a love would not be as strong if there wasn't a possibility of losing. If I knew it would always be there and I would never lose it, it would not mean half as much.

It is a choice between making yourself numb and feeling the cuts. It is a difference between not running and your lungs feeling nothing or running and letting your lungs scream for oxygen. My mouth feels like it is full of metal, and I feel the muscles in my leg with each stride. But the satisfaction and feeling of being alive that I get after running those 13 miles makes it all worth it.

So I make the choice to feel that pain. In that, I have also made the choice to feel. Which in actuality, I have realized, is a choice to live. And now I feel ready to take the world on. I'm ready for God to take me wherever. I want to meet new people, continue to grow in relationships with the ones I know, and leave the future in His hands.