Completely Different Post Than I Started With

Okay, I set out to write a post, telling myself that I was going to be completely honest. I set out realizations I have come to and even numbered them point by point. It was all about the frustrations of gossip, cliques, and my frustrations with finding myself stifling the nerdy parts of me, because I thought it wasn't me. Well, it became very long. And quite angry. I obviously couldn't post it since I would hurt people. But I thought I had a right to since I was hurt.

Finally, I came to my last realization which was that I needed to do a better job of controlling my anger. Ha! The whole post was certainly not an example of that. Far from it in fact. So, I will go with a little less drastic approach. I was very close to wanting to move away without telling anyone and just dropping off the face of the planet. There is so much here that I would just love to leave. But then I realize that problems only follow. Or so I've heard....

I will say that life is going to be a little different. Priorities have changed once I realize how things truly are. Sometimes it is so discouraging. I wonder if I will ever find that perfect person who will never let me down. But then I think about it and-duh-God is there all the time. I just often turn away from that opportunity. I wonder why... Things have changed and life often hurts, but a person who is strong gets back up from those hurts and keeps going. I mean if I fall down flat on my face and don't get up for days every time something comes up, then how much of life am I wasting? A lot.

I don't know what is up with these past few months. I think God is just really growing me or preparing me for something. Who knows if it is life in general or something more specific, but each day I keep running. Once again, run the race that is set before me. And I run it with endurance.