Blatant Honesty

Can I be brutally honest? Stop saying the things that I know I should say or do the things that I know I should do and just have a freak out session. No, I'm not really asking permission. I'm just issuing a warning.

Could one thing go right? Please? Just one thing? God, I don't get why you are doing all of this. None of it makes sense. I keep hearing all about your love and how I can trust you and how you will always be there for me, but honestly, I totally don't feel it right now. At all. Everything is falling apart. People are falling apart. The world feels very heavy and sad. And I am struggling to find hope. And once I finally admit I need someone, there seems to be nobody there. So far all I've been successful at is a wild attempt to stay so busy I forget my problems. But that has failed miserably. My problems merely crash into my brain while I am sleeping. I try to steel myself and figure out a time frame of the amount of days I have to push through. But I fall on my butt the minute I realize how long I would have to be strong for.

God, I don't know what you're shooting for. I'll be honest: I give up. I give up on saying the right thing at the right time. I give up on words that have no meaning. I give up on a fake smile. I cling to the hope that it will be better and there will be rest. That you will speak and the world will be as it should be with people in the places they should be. Until then, I leave the rest up to you. You have to show up and help.

Confessions of a Twenty-Something Anti-Drama Queen

On my way to Springs Friday night, I pulled the ultimate female version of the bachelor. One, I get off work around 4:45. Although I had showered that morning after PT, I felt as if I could use another shower after hugging dogs all day. My sixth sense told me that the people I would be seeing in Colorado Springs that night wouldn't be the biggest fan of "El Doggie" perfume direct import from GA Health Care....So, rather than drive "all the way" across town to my during the week home to shower, I took a more direct route to the university gym. Where I proceeded to take a shower at the girl's locker room. I picked the perfect time-theoretically after girl's softball got out and before all the rock climbers-before the showers were rampant with people. So, I could shower in the barracks-esque showers in peace and privacy. My female version of the bachelor varies in that a bachelor may not have given a rip or a thought to the last point.

Part two: I had some time before I needed to be in Colorado Springs. And I was hungry. So for a grand total of three dollars and 4 something cents, I got a double cheeseburger, sundae, and french fries from the infamous Mickey D's. And I sat in a booth, eating my grease, reading a book, and halfway watching McDonald's TV which is not a fictional notion by the way...

Part 3 of my night isn't so much bachelorette as it is creepy ghost-town like. I had an appointment for an MRI at 7:15 at Fort Carson. 7:15 as in 1915. As in 7:15 pm. Weird....Anyway, I finally find the correct entrance after walking around the whole entire hospital, trying to find my way through the construction maze. I walk in and find a soldier receptionist lady. She points out the MRI wing to me. I walk in and feel like I have entered a Halloween version of House, just waiting for some zombie anesthesiologist to jump out and kill me with a scalpel. After wandering around the dark halls a bit, an x-ray technician finds me and tells me to wait in a waiting room. A dark waiting room with no one else in it. So I wait....And wait....A while later, the MRI tech comes and finds me and leads me down another dark hall. Now, conspiracy is going through my head! ;) In any case, I got some scrubs on, entered the MRI tube, listened to cool alarm like noises for twenty minutes, almost fell asleep, and was suddenly done.

The end. :)

ROTC

So, ya, I think there is some unspoken rule about not smiling in ACU's, but....it's to late. :)

Ooops, I did it again....

So, there it is. Uniform-not camis-minus the kevlar (helmet), LBE (hot looking suspenders with canteens and ammo pouches hanging off of it), and 30 pound ruck sack we normally have with it. Oh, and minus the rifle too. I'd probably get voted off the island if I posted a picture including the weapon....

Story of the day starts at PT. So, I've done workouts with medicine balls before. At fight club, we used to run across the room with someone about 7 feet apart, throwing them back and forth. Well, PT this morning included medicine balls, but in a very violent manner. Instead of being thrown to me, it was being thrown at me. Both of my the insides of my arms look like a red pen was taken and scribbled all over them. So much for that invincible thing I guess.....

The Things To Be Found Exciting.....

The Things Found to Be Exciting In a Vet Clinic That Normally Would Be Viewed as Gross to a Normal Person (Caution: Ickiness Follows):

-S explains, "Awesome! I just found tapeworm eggs in the puppy's poop!" Why the heck is that exciting, you may ask....Well, because now we know why puppy is barfing and has diahrrea. Yes, tapeworms can be exciting. Of course, when you see them fall out of puppy and crawl across the exam table.....You got it, no one is excited about that.

-Me: Oh, good, the cat's abcess broke open as I was shaving the fur away. This means we don't have to drain it anymore. The clippers did it for us....

-The tech who loves to assist in eye surgeries gets all excited when a pug comes in with an eyeball hanging out of its head. Yay, we get to do eye surgery to put it back into its eye socket!!!

On another note...Check out Our Blog to see what L has been up to lately.

Awesome Randomness

The study of animal poop is called scatology. I think I will be a certified scatologist at the end of my zoo internship according to my hours observing it. AKA raking and shoveling it. You've got kangaroo, bat, elk, zebra, ostrich, lion, penguin.....and the list goes on. :D

So, the combination of a kick butt PT workout and the kick butt coldness of the outdoors caused my sweat to evaporate off me, condensate on my beanie, gloves, and ponytail, and promptly freeze. I looked like a walking snowflake. :)


The Wally World oil changing people failed in their attempt to screw me.....I paid for fuel injection and didn't get it. I interpreted the receipt succesfully and got my money back. Genius!!!! Except I need to figure out where to get fuel injection service done.....

So far....

....this week.

-Passed my first PT test!!! :D Stressful, but fun once I got it beat.

-Stuck my hand in a snake cage. That was my brave thing for the day....Ew, snakes are creepy!

-Had a 4 year old say I was her favorite thing she saw at the zoo. Bwa haha!!!!

-Cut my hand with a hacksaw. Yes, tool Nazis, I am capable of using sharp tools..... :P

-Finished month 1 of deployment. It's been a hard few weeks. I haven't talked to L for a few weeks. And I seem to go back and forth between being sad/frustrated/abnormally emotional and deciding to stop caring, because it won't change anything anyway. Must find a balance between the two maybe....