Seeking and Other News

"But seek first His kingdom"....
I have been wondering what exactly this might mean. The past few-quite a few-months have been caught up in me seeking something. I don't know exactly if I was seeking the right thing though. For example, I just go crazy wondering what His plan for me is with a career, where I will be with school, where I'll live next semester, who my friends will be, if I'll go to graduate school or veterinary school, and more recently questions about missions. I think all of these things were good things to wonder and seek God about, but in the flurry of the seeking these things I have neglected to seek His face. I looked too much at circumstances and plans and forgot quite a bit about just knowing Him more.
I often get scared that I will become that certain type of person I don't want to be if I stop trying so hard. I become afraid that I will never do anything for Him if I stop asking what He wants for me. Even in writing these two sentences down, I see how selfish they really are. Both involve my desires and personal satisfaction. I think I need to pick up some tunnel vision-with only Him in front of my eyes. :)
In order to focus on God more, it helps me to write all my worries down, put some plans on paper, and then try to leave it alone. Today, I made a graduation plan and figured out where things like research, missions work, and so forth will fit in. Now I am working on putting the piece of paper away, walking in these plans day by day, seeking Him. He may bring other things up. He may take that piece of paper, rip it into tiny pieces, and give me a new piece. :) But I know it will be a better plan. And along the way, I am just getting to know Him better, trying to stop wasting time, worrying, wondering, and sometimes even seeking.

In other news:
I am going to start writing for the newspaper again. I figure this will be a great way to build my portfolio in anticipation of possible graduate school!

School starts in five day. I am planning on taking seventeen credits. I will see how far I get with that one.

Thanks for all the feedback on my last post. It actually made me rethink a little bit. I still think that there is one person God has for each of us-if we are meant to get married. However, if for some reason, choose to....look the other way when that person comes along, I think there are others that are out there. It's not as if no one else is compatible or possible to get married to.

I forgot to post the names of the people who did the music in my last post. The first was Regina Spektor and the second was Blake Shelton.