Polka Dotted Pickles

New! :D

2010-03-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

I am making a move. To WordPress. Please visit me here! :) It is not very exciting yet since it is just getting started.

Very Interesting

2010-03-27T15:27:00.001-07:00

Live In Me from onetimeblind on Vimeo.

Some Thoughts

2010-03-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have a frustration. That frustration is when people update the world every waking minute with their multitude of uncontrolled feelings. My preference is a "feelings in control" type of existence. With the whirlwind of life going on the past few months, I have utterly failed in my attempts to "control life". Sounds suspiciously of God showing more of his greatness to me...
Anyway, because of my propensity to insist on control, I think I fail to be honest with how I feel or what is going on. I may say things are hard, but I'll be okay. This is true, but in all honesty, sometimes it doesn't really feel like it will all be okay. I have decided to attempt a new approach to this crazy phenomenon entitled life. Balance! Hehe....a novel idea, I'm sure. Anyway, a balance between being up front and honest with people about what is going on and working through the things that are going on in order to come to a healthy, correct place.

So, here goes the attempt at balance.....
#1-Frustration: It feels like my best friends have moved to another country. I suppose they sort of have. To the country of "Ihaveaboyfriendnow". My 2 besties are utterly happy in relationships that started in the past 1 to 3 months. And my sis, E, is also happy with her awesome guy who rocks the mullet. :) I am happy for them. I pray for growth and blessing in those relationships, but I admit some frustration at the timing of their blessings. Selfish? Most possibly yes, but I feel like I have never wanted a friend more than I do now, and they are most definitely otherwise occupied. Everyone has their significant other except mine who is also in another country. This one called "Navyshipshavezerowaystocommunicate".
I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.

#2-People just don't get it. I understand that most of the world has never done this, so you have an excuse to be idiotic, but please understand, world, that you piss me off sometimes. Just because my husband is "only" gone for 6 months doesn't make it a million times easier. I miss him even when he isn't in Afghanistan, a more dangerous place than he is now. Please don't think I am exaggerating when I talk about missing him.I know we've only been married a few months, but that doesn't mean I don't notice most hours of the day that I am alone, without my other half with me or somewhere closer than a few continents away. I am sorry you and said significant other had an argument, but, honestly, I would give just about anything to have an argument with my guy right now. It would be a priviledge to talk to him. Even if we were yelling a little bit.... :) I hold it together well most of the time, but I will admit to feeling like I'm losing it.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

#3-God, sometimes I feel like you don't "deserve" my trust. Okay, before I get "struck by lightning", let me clarify. I know that what I feel doesn't make sense, but sometimes I honestly just feel that way. Where are you in some of these thing that happen? B going missing and then learning a few days later we will never see her smile again. S's baby desperately clinging to life. Seeing people we love struggling with pain and sickness. Girls counting down the days only to learn their guy is never coming back. What does your sovereignty mean in all of this madness? Sometimes it is extra hard to see you, God....
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

No Words

2010-03-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

A Little Pink In a World of Camo

Yesterday it is when he gets back. Today it is he is not coming back. This whole thing could be done if we just knew they would come back. But sometimes we won't know.

Daddy Daughter Dance

2010-03-14T13:48:00.001-07:00

Too fun!!! :) Thanks, Daddy.

Blatant Honesty

2010-02-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

Can I be brutally honest? Stop saying the things that I know I should say or do the things that I know I should do and just have a freak out session. No, I'm not really asking permission. I'm just issuing a warning.

Could one thing go right? Please? Just one thing? God, I don't get why you are doing all of this. None of it makes sense. I keep hearing all about your love and how I can trust you and how you will always be there for me, but honestly, I totally don't feel it right now. At all. Everything is falling apart. People are falling apart. The world feels very heavy and sad. And I am struggling to find hope. And once I finally admit I need someone, there seems to be nobody there. So far all I've been successful at is a wild attempt to stay so busy I forget my problems. But that has failed miserably. My problems merely crash into my brain while I am sleeping. I try to steel myself and figure out a time frame of the amount of days I have to push through. But I fall on my butt the minute I realize how long I would have to be strong for.

God, I don't know what you're shooting for. I'll be honest: I give up. I give up on saying the right thing at the right time. I give up on words that have no meaning. I give up on a fake smile. I cling to the hope that it will be better and there will be rest. That you will speak and the world will be as it should be with people in the places they should be. Until then, I leave the rest up to you. You have to show up and help.

Confessions of a Twenty-Something Anti-Drama Queen

2010-02-21T09:41:00.000-08:00

On my way to Springs Friday night, I pulled the ultimate female version of the bachelor. One, I get off work around 4:45. Although I had showered that morning after PT, I felt as if I could use another shower after hugging dogs all day. My sixth sense told me that the people I would be seeing in Colorado Springs that night wouldn't be the biggest fan of "El Doggie" perfume direct import from GA Health Care....So, rather than drive "all the way" across town to my during the week home to shower, I took a more direct route to the university gym. Where I proceeded to take a shower at the girl's locker room. I picked the perfect time-theoretically after girl's softball got out and before all the rock climbers-before the showers were rampant with people. So, I could shower in the barracks-esque showers in peace and privacy. My female version of the bachelor varies in that a bachelor may not have given a rip or a thought to the last point.

Part two: I had some time before I needed to be in Colorado Springs. And I was hungry. So for a grand total of three dollars and 4 something cents, I got a double cheeseburger, sundae, and french fries from the infamous Mickey D's. And I sat in a booth, eating my grease, reading a book, and halfway watching McDonald's TV which is not a fictional notion by the way...

Part 3 of my night isn't so much bachelorette as it is creepy ghost-town like. I had an appointment for an MRI at 7:15 at Fort Carson. 7:15 as in 1915. As in 7:15 pm. Weird....Anyway, I finally find the correct entrance after walking around the whole entire hospital, trying to find my way through the construction maze. I walk in and find a soldier receptionist lady. She points out the MRI wing to me. I walk in and feel like I have entered a Halloween version of House, just waiting for some zombie anesthesiologist to jump out and kill me with a scalpel. After wandering around the dark halls a bit, an x-ray technician finds me and tells me to wait in a waiting room. A dark waiting room with no one else in it. So I wait....And wait....A while later, the MRI tech comes and finds me and leads me down another dark hall. Now, conspiracy is going through my head! ;) In any case, I got some scrubs on, entered the MRI tube, listened to cool alarm like noises for twenty minutes, almost fell asleep, and was suddenly done.

The end. :)

ROTC

2010-02-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

So, ya, I think there is some unspoken rule about not smiling in ACU's, but....it's to late. :)

Ooops, I did it again....

So, there it is. Uniform-not camis-minus the kevlar (helmet), LBE (hot looking suspenders with canteens and ammo pouches hanging off of it), and 30 pound ruck sack we normally have with it. Oh, and minus the rifle too. I'd probably get voted off the island if I posted a picture including the weapon....

Story of the day starts at PT. So, I've done workouts with medicine balls before. At fight club, we used to run across the room with someone about 7 feet apart, throwing them back and forth. Well, PT this morning included medicine balls, but in a very violent manner. Instead of being thrown to me, it was being thrown at me. Both of my the insides of my arms look like a red pen was taken and scribbled all over them. So much for that invincible thing I guess.....

The Things To Be Found Exciting.....

2010-02-16T05:56:00.000-08:00

The Things Found to Be Exciting In a Vet Clinic That Normally Would Be Viewed as Gross to a Normal Person (Caution: Ickiness Follows):

-S explains, "Awesome! I just found tapeworm eggs in the puppy's poop!" Why the heck is that exciting, you may ask....Well, because now we know why puppy is barfing and has diahrrea. Yes, tapeworms can be exciting. Of course, when you see them fall out of puppy and crawl across the exam table.....You got it, no one is excited about that.

-Me: Oh, good, the cat's abcess broke open as I was shaving the fur away. This means we don't have to drain it anymore. The clippers did it for us....

-The tech who loves to assist in eye surgeries gets all excited when a pug comes in with an eyeball hanging out of its head. Yay, we get to do eye surgery to put it back into its eye socket!!!

On another note...Check out Our Blog to see what L has been up to lately.

Awesome Randomness

2010-02-10T18:12:00.001-08:00

The study of animal poop is called scatology. I think I will be a certified scatologist at the end of my zoo internship according to my hours observing it. AKA raking and shoveling it. You've got kangaroo, bat, elk, zebra, ostrich, lion, penguin.....and the list goes on. :D

So, the combination of a kick butt PT workout and the kick butt coldness of the outdoors caused my sweat to evaporate off me, condensate on my beanie, gloves, and ponytail, and promptly freeze. I looked like a walking snowflake. :)

The Wally World oil changing people failed in their attempt to screw me.....I paid for fuel injection and didn't get it. I interpreted the receipt succesfully and got my money back. Genius!!!! Except I need to figure out where to get fuel injection service done.....

So far....

2010-02-03T18:02:00.001-08:00

....this week.

-Passed my first PT test!!! :D Stressful, but fun once I got it beat.

-Stuck my hand in a snake cage. That was my brave thing for the day....Ew, snakes are creepy!

-Had a 4 year old say I was her favorite thing she saw at the zoo. Bwa haha!!!!

-Cut my hand with a hacksaw. Yes, tool Nazis, I am capable of using sharp tools..... :P

-Finished month 1 of deployment. It's been a hard few weeks. I haven't talked to L for a few weeks. And I seem to go back and forth between being sad/frustrated/abnormally emotional and deciding to stop caring, because it won't change anything anyway. Must find a balance between the two maybe....

List of To Not Do's

2010-01-28T08:11:00.000-08:00

Do not:

-Forget to take out earrings when wearing uniform.

-Put a pbj in your backpack for any longer than 1 hour. You won't recognize it if it is there any longer than that. I blame the immunology textbook....

- Wear non-waterproof non-boot type shoes to a cow dairy.

-Set facebook mobile to send updates to your cell phone at all hours of the day. And night. Some people are online at 3 am. Seriously.

-Work at a zoo if you do not like poop. I have seen many types of poop. Camel, pig, chicken, bunny, monitor lizard, turtle, reindeer. And it is only week 3....

-Expect to get away not knowing that complement is in the order C1q, C1r, C1s, C4a and b, C2a and b, C3a and b, C5 a and 6, C6, C7, C8, C9 with C3a and C5a being powerful anaphylotoxins, C3b being a opsinization inducer, and CD59 preventing this on human cells. Yes, it all means something. I think.....

-Expect to get away with going to sleep at 8:30 pm on a regular basis without being razzed. To a great extent.

Superhero PJ Night!!!!!

2010-01-19T17:12:00.001-08:00

Announcement, announcement!!! Tuesday night is superhero pj night. :D Yes, Luke and I have matching pjs, courtesy of the awesome madre y padre. No shame, no gain. Or something like that.... :D

Introducing....

2010-01-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

.... a blog that Luke created. Luke and I have not had too much luck with communicating since he has been gone. With the exception of the last day or two....
First, we realized that we can catch each other online at my 5 am and his 9 pm. So, we try to IM when we can.
Second, he got a phone card!!!!! :D I have had a few 2 or 3 minute conversations with my guy. It is really good to hear his voice and know that I am not imagining his existence. ;)
Third, a new blog!!! What a cool idea. He created a blog where we can both post! I was quite impressed with his ingenuity! ;)

In other news, the semester has begun. It will be quite the busy one as I am working part time, doing two part time internships, taking an immunology class as well as ROTC. I am hoping that the semester flies by in a blur of excitement, adventures, and challenges. When it is over, praying that it will be possible to go to Okinawa somehow and see my love. :)

Crazy Whirlwind of 2009

2009-12-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

So, I thought I would have time to post each day up until the wedding. That turned out to be far from the truth with a crazy whirlwind of California/Pennsylvania family, Scottish friends, finding and losing flowers, Rockband, Christmas Eve services, Christmas day, table and chair transporting, dress cleaning, hair doing, ice cream buying....Let's just say there was lots to do in a short amount of time and blogging completely left my brain for a week.

And now it is officially the second to last day of 2009. I am going to end this blog's year with some of the high points. By the way, voting best year on record so far.... ;)
-Jumping off South Point cliff-the southernmost tip of the United States-into the ocean.
-Hugging Luke after waiting 9 months for a hug. (The best part about a 9 month deployment is the first time you see them again.)
-Landing a job at an animal clinic and getting super close to finishing up my hours.
-Stepping foot in the Caspian Sea.
-A 5:07 am proposal at Liberty Point on June 26th. I said yes. :)
-Getting into KSU's vet program. (I decided to wait for CSU mostly because of tuition costs.)
-Exploring and getting into trouble in Eastern Europe/Scandinavia with two of the best explorer friends ever. Em-Tay and Miss Bond.
-Beach camping in a secret Hawaiian valley which included beach showers, Tarzan tree swinging, scary stories, and terriyaki hot dogs. Believe me, it all goes together.

2009's award will be entitled "Year of Random, Awesomely Epic Events"

Seven Days....

2009-12-21T15:30:00.000-08:00

...until the wedding.

WHAT I'M DOING
-Drinking energy drinks. Situation #1-Monster. Green. Yesterday. Hand epilepsy. Crack dreams minus the purple elephants. Actually, it really could have been real crack...
Situation#2-Walmart had free samples of five hour energy. Ya, within 15 minutes hand epilepsy and a feeling of disembodiment returned.

WHAT I'M THINKING
-No more energy drinks. Ever. Again. Not really, I am addicted to the crack in them...

On a completely non-wedding related note which is a comfortable change of mind pace....I am getting close to getting my vet hours finished. I am shooting for Colorado State University for fall of 2011. I have discovered that the average applicant has 1000 hours of vet animal experience and 1000 hours of animal experience. I have a mere 180 hours left at the clinic I work at. Additionally, I plan to kick out my 670 animal hours remaining in my 2 internships this next semester. I am so excited for next semester. The agenda includes....
-Immunology (Trying to keep my feet wet in academics according to my adviser)
-ROTC (Looking at the possibility of MedCorps scholarships for vet school later. This also seems like a good way to beef up the applications for vet school.)
-Work at the veterinary clinic I've been at for 4 months now (First full time job like ever since I've been a full time student since pre-school it seems.)
-Dairy internship (On weekends. I get to milk cows. :D)
-Zoo internship (Still working on those animal hours....)

My plan is to be done with all my hours by then end of this upcoming summer.

Eight Days...

2009-12-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

...until the wedding.

WHAT I'M DOING
-Sitting on the couch on the internet.
-Coming up with amusing facebook status updates to make someone laugh and leave me a good comment.
-Not watching the Broncos game. I hate watching football....

WHAT I'M THINKING
-Ya, this is weird.
-Ya, I should so have so much more than this accomplished.
-Ya, I'm so gonna have a nervous break down.

QUOTE FOR TODAY
Reading "The Time Traveler's Wife". I like it probably because I think I so get Clare....

"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays. I keep myself busy. Time goes faster that way.

I go to sleep alone, and wake up alone. I take walks. I work until I'm tired. I watch the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter. Everything seems simple until you think about it. Why is love intensified by absence?

Long ago, men went to sea, and women waited for them, standing on the edge of the water, scanning the horizon for the tiny ship. Now I wait for Henry. He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?"

Thoughts On....

2009-12-10T11:36:00.000-08:00

Flowers
-Why is something that grows from dirt and merely needs to be cut off from its life source with a pair of scissors so frickin' expensive? So far, my bouquet will cost $70.00. Time to walk down the aisle with some dead twigs. Maybe I could pretend to be making a statement....

- I will go to City Market the day before and make an attempt to get flowers for the tables. If there are none, well....there's no flowers on the tables. I promise, ladies and gentlemen, the world will NOT end.

Animal Experience Hours
-I have 180 vet hours left!!!!!!! :D That is the good news. The bad news is I have 670 animal hours left. The good news is I have two or three possibilities for places to get my hours.

-Option #1-Dairy. I am SO excited. No really. I may get to milk cows. Oooh.....I know, I know, all the legit dairy people can commence laughing at my naivety.

-Option #2-Pueblo zoo.... :D I sent in my resume yesterday to be the official pooper scooper and all around zoo vet shadow.

Texting
-It's retarded and should not be used as an excuse to communicate without inconvenience.

-It's a cop out. Grow up and learn how to communicate with your mouth.

-May consider listening to myself and boycotting. Hmmm....

Blog Resurrection?

2009-12-08T16:44:00.000-08:00

Could this be a blog resurrection? Perhaps.....I have said this once or twice before, and it really did not happen. However, I have an urge to write again. Bleed onto paper, dear friends! Well, not quite that intense, but let the inside out I suppose. ;)

Even though I will not have any past readers curious about the changes in my life, I will pretend that I do and update concerning my current life regardless of the reader quota.

1) I am getting married in 2 weeks, 5 days, and 18.5 hours approximately. I know, I know, last you all heard, I was seeing my boyfriend again for the first time in 9 months. What can I say? I guess we can prove the truth of "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

2) Speaking of absence, I get to see L again in 3 days and 5 hours. I swear, my entire life is a countdown these days. We will spend a week in glorious 29 Stumps and from there get on a plane *together* for the first time ever and head back to Colorado to have a wedding shindig. Then two days later, we will head back to glorious 29 Stumps for a few days. From there, he will deploy to Asia and I will return home to *crossing fingers* finish my vet and animal experience hours.

3) I still love Peach-O's. The sugar crunching under my teeth and the rubbery gumminess being swallowed whole into my tummy is an experience never to be grown out of.

4) I joined a fight club. For a short time. While I enjoyed the opportunity inflict pain and make boys cry, I got tired of the either/or attitude. Either, you're the only girl here so I'm gonna hit on you every night. Hit as in hook up. Not hit as in hook punch. Or, you're the only girl here so I'm not really gonna hit you. Cause you're a girl. In conclusion, it was fun. I got my butt kicked. I kicked butt, and I may someday return. May.

5) My life is closer to full time work than full time school. For the first time in my existence. I needed animal experience hours to get into vet school, so I'm taking a class or two each semester and working mostly. I love school....Work is a little more lame. Except I need to eat. Although ramen noodles and PBJ's kept me alive for quite a while. *contemplates giving up the dream of vet school and becoming a lifetime student*

Brain Transplant

2009-06-06T20:28:00.001-07:00

The weirdest thing about my life right now...I have spent significant parts of my life in a place and undergoing thing that no one I know here in C-town is aware of. I don't say that in a flippant way; I I say it to try to explain some frustration. The only people who experienced what I experienced for the last five months of my life are either in another state or another country all together. My brain is telling me that is has undergone a complete transformation. In fact, I may have a totally new brain. Trying to explain this transplant is something I cannot get into the right terms. Sometimes the only thing that relays change and the things I have gone through is the evidence of the fruit of that change. So, here I come world....

So, this is random. Once upon a time, I met this guy...We hung out for two weeks and he left for another state. Even more random, I went down to that state for five days to visit. Then about a month later he headed off to Iraq. About 3 months after that, I headed out for the most random adventure of my life. Well, 9 months has passed since then. Nine months since I have seen this guy that I'm *ahem* crazy about. In less than a week, I will see him again. What a thought. Glad my brain underwent a transplant. My old one would have conked out by now with all the processing it is undergoing....

Russia Outreach Video

2009-06-03T07:31:00.001-07:00

Hello, Home!!

2009-05-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have returned to the United States of America. What a good feeling it was to look out my window on the plane and see land that I knew was only a few hours from home. Five months has flown by in retrospect and was a little slow in the midst of it. Whatever the case may be, I am super blessed to be home and see my family. The icing on top is that my sis, E, was in town for a few days so I get to see her. And the cherry on top? L is coming in for post-deployment leave in a matter of 14 freaking days!!!! :D

May you wake up every day and say today is the best day of my life. This is my new goal. There is only one day like today, and I intend to make the most of mine...

And now I am off to finish up the cleaning of my room. It took me all day yesterday to unpack, do laundry, and make my room liveable after it had served as a storage area. It is so nice to have a little space to myself.

Dishwashing....

2009-05-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

He cares more about who I am than what I do....So, I have never heard God so clearly in my life as when He said that. I am trying to make this the attitude I operate out of in my life. I want to seek becoming more like Him rather than always trying to figure out the next big thing. The funny thing is I was washing dishes when He told me. I seem to find myself washing dishes a lot.....

1) My first roomies were the bomb. C and P have affected me in so many good ways, I probably couldn't begin to recount their awesomeness. Part of the awesomeness of our house was the way we balanced each other out so well. C was a bathroom cleaning wonder. She did it weekly whereas I would have done it....never. P was a great cook whereas C and I cook and it is often disastrous. C and P hated dishes and would leave them in the sink for weeks for kitchen mold to eventually disintegrate into plate dust. So I became resident dish washer. I learned that God puts different people together and when you work together, you can keep a house from burning down.

2) DTS work duty. I never felt more like I was in summer camp than DTS work duty. I worked from 5:15 to 7:30 Monday through Friday in the kitchen. There is nothing like the smell of stinky campus kitchen at the setting of the moon in the middle of the night. ;) In any case, my job was pot washer. The sticky oatmeal pans were my favorite. Or not....In any case, this work duty really was valuable despite my complaining. I learned to have a good attitude (I hope) even when I was tired and I realized that if it weren't for me, the whole campus would have to forfeit oatmeal. Either that or get food poisoning.... Never underestimate the power of a job well done.

3) Outreach....After a few weeks of trying to make dish schedules and teaching people to correctly wash dishes after themselves, it became apparent that a resident dish washer was needed. Yes, sometimes God calls people to set the captives free and heal the lame. But He also needs people to wash the dirty bowls. So I did....And I learned that my Mom is amazing. She cleaned up after me as I grew up and I have to remember to tell her that I am sorry when I took her dishwashing for granted, and I love her so much for putting up with me.

So, in conclusion dish washing has really had quite the profound effect on my life.....

A Return

2009-05-21T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Well almost. I have one day left of outreach, one day of travel, several days of debrief, one day of travel, and then *deep breath* home. I have really slacked off over the past five months on blogging. I feel bad actually since it was such a time of huge change and crazy events in my life. I suppose-and hope-these changes will make themselves evident as I continue to write. To begin, how does one start to summarize five months of a super eventful part of my life? I guess I just take a deep breath and start typing....We will see what happens....

I can hardly believe I have been away from home for five months. I sort of did a mental block before I came to my DTS on January 1st. I still am not quite sure why I came to do one. It was so random, and I realize now it was something I did out of desperation. A desperation to not have a feeling of unknown and uncertainty. I was done with my bachelor's, I had not gotten into vet school yet, and one of my best friends was halfway across the world. What was I going to do with myself? I thought of some really stupid things including the military (Don't ask about that one. Luckily God gave me one of those crappy nauseous tummy feelings and now I realize I would have made a HUGE mistake if I did that. I guess Moms are right most of the time, huh?) or getting my master's at CSU-Pueblo (Which would have meant an extension of my bachelor's degree and classes on the study of water-icky!). So, out of desperation, I found myself all by myself with no one I knew, my family across an ocean, no clue what I was doing with my life, and my best friend in Iraq. I was in a dorm room in one of the most beautiful places on the planet. What was I going to do with myself? I was stuck. Nowhere, nothing, and no one to drown myself in or find my fulfillment in. So, by default I had to run to this guy I had grown up hearing about and occasionally was spoken to through the Bible. This particular collision may be the best accident that has ever happened to me...

I can't even begin to talk about all the ways that God met me in Hawaii. I learned that there is this being in this world that created me very lovingly and placed within me dreams and desires that He wishes to use for His glory. He is in a passionate pursuit for me, and has made himself available for a full on relationship with me. He was so faithful to meet me in my low spots, provide when I had needs, and stretch me in ways that have changed who I am.

More of the lowdown on my time at DTS. For now, I suppose I should try to evacuate the ants from my pants and sleep. Why is it I am tired all day and then sleep time comes and I'm super antsy.....

Seven days until I hug every member of my amazing family and about 3 weeks until I see my most amazing Marine....

:D

2009-03-25T10:38:00.001-07:00

I shall return. Someday. I leave for Russia/Scandinavia tonight at 8:45. So begin the great adventure. :) I am excited to see what kind of crazy/everyday/awesome/quiet/loud things God will be up to on this trip. I may get on to update occasionally if internet cafes are available; however, I wouldn't count on it. Add me on facebook-Danika Hayden-if you really want to keep up with me whilst I am gone.
God bless!!!

Twelve Days to Takeoff

2009-03-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

So, I concluded that there can be too much going on in life to be able to blog about. I am learning so much here and God is speaking to me a lot. There is so much to process and consider that I do not know how to begin conveying any of it. Thus, I post about once a month while I am here. He he....

I am off in a matter of 12 days. Whoa!!! Takeoff to Russia on Wednesday. The first leg of our trip involves Jesus showing Himself through us in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Volgograd. We are hoping to work in an orphanage for part of the time and possibly with an organization that is involved in human trafficking in Northern Europe.

The most important thing on this outreach and for the rest of life after that is the presence of Jesus. He created humans to spend time with us. He died so we could spend time with Him. From this presence, His glory resides inside us. The true ministry-whether it is on outreach or in every day life-happens when people see this glory in us. The cannot help but see that something is different about us and the only explanation is that we have the Creator of the universe residing inside of us. I am SO excited to see how God will work in these next 9 weeks.

God is speaking to me about completely abiding in Him in each moment of each day. It is so easy to not only look forward to the adventures to come, but the adventures to come after the adventure. ;) I haven't seen my family in three months and L in about five. I am SO excited to see them again. Admittedly, maybe more excited than the world travel adventure....? :) However, God holds all things and time in His hands. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have right now and am seizing every minute of every day.

The Profoundness of Shells

2009-02-28T18:59:00.000-08:00

So, this is what I am realizing...I came to do a DTS thinking I was nicely put together, totally on track. Maybe I was. In any case, God is either revealing how broken I am or breaking me down to reform me. I realize what I hid away, buried or tried to change about myself in order to change how I felt or stop feeling hurt. I tried to pretend things didn't effect me. I was to strong for it to get to me, right? No. Not that I should dwell in the hurt or bitterness, but rather that I should acknowledge it and realize that better is completely possible in giving the situations to Him and trusting Him for His results.
The world looks different than I thought really. God works totally differently than than this human world does. He goes against all natural instinct and preconceptions.
So (as I originally wrote this)...wow, I'm at the beach. It has become sinful to be in my room on a Saturday while in HAWAII. I was laying on the sand, and I decided to walk into the water. After picking up two vauna (sea urchins, just not the black ones!!!), I got bored. There was this little pool of water lined with sand. I stuck my hand in and raked up a handful. The excess water and sand dribbled over the side of my hands and through the gaps between my fingers. I was amazed when I took a close look. There wasn't just sand in my hands; there was also some of the tiniest shells I had ever seen. There were like a quarter or an eight of a centimer long (2 millimeters??? It has been too long since university. Ha ha!!!) I am afraid if I attempt to describe them, you will imagine something that isn't as original and creative as the teeny objects lying in the midst of the sand in my hands. Even as I look at them, they begin to grow dull since they are no longer wet. But I will attempt to do them justice....
First, there is one shaped like a cone. The lines on them travel from the bottom to cap off in a tiny blob at the top. It reminds me of tiny circus tent made of pink and white alligator skin. The second one is almost like a tiny conch shell. The base color is like coffee with creamer in it, but someone has taken a microscopic tool and etched lengthwise dark brown trails in it. The third one looks like something an architect would have designed (Guess God is the ultimate architect, huh?) for a modern business building. It is a green blob overlaid with black. It looks like scratch art where someone scratched the upper layer of black off in symmetrical lines to reveal the underlying green. The last piece is probably a piece of a broken shell. It looks like the surface of another planet-purple ground with little white mountains on it.
As I look at these shells, I am told I have some sort of resemblance to them. I am small and often not seen. He sees me every moment of every day though. And when I am seen, I can have a big impact on someone's life.
Conclusion? All creation cries out His praise!! :)

Thoughts

2009-02-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

I once said that it is a choice between making yourself numb and feeling the cuts. It is a difference between not running and your lungs feeling nothing or running and letting your lungs scream for oxygen. My mouth feels like it is full of metal, and I feel the muscles in my leg with each stride. But the satisfaction and feeling of being alive that I get after running those 13 miles makes it all worth it. So I make the choice to feel that pain. In that, I have also made the choice to feel. Which in actuality, I have realized, is a choice to live.
Then I realize that this is completely different in action than it is in words. When your heart physically hurts--feels full of lead--you realize maybe you'd rather not let yourself be cut. When swallowing and holding tears back is a chore you realize maybe that 13 miles is a bit too long. I go numb because handling the whole weight of it is something I cannot stand up under. Then I see you and my mind screams against everything. I love you so much I wish I could fix the hurt. I do not want you to be numb, but I do not want you to feel cut. Please let me see you, but I am afraid of you being broken.
Sometimes I believe that the whole earth is full of His glory. That is after I see a sunset or watch the waves crash on the rocks. Sometimes I believe we are too broken to hold His glory. This is after I see what we do to each other. Then I realize the Spirit of the Lord is upon me. It is upon me as a broken person. It is upon me as a numb person. There is beauty in this world. There is pain. What will I look at? Will I look at the justice or the injustice? I will dance upon injustice and praise Him for the justice. I will see the beauty. The waves crashing on the rocks. The orange and purple sunsets. The look I remember in my Osiemo's eyes when we were swing dancing. The feeling I get when I think of feeling the weight of His presence.

The Last Few Weeks Summarized in Sentences

2009-02-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Is the life I am living worth Jesus dying for?

Satan often attacks the gifts God has for us or strengths He has given us. They are often twisted into fears.

God sees our lives differently than we do. I see the present and past. He sees the future. He sees me in the midst of my struggles and failures!

Fear is misplaced trust.

Do I have faith in my ability to have faith or do I have faith in Him?

The tighter we hold onto something (think of sand), the more slips through our fingers. The more tightly we hold to our lives or desires, the more we lose.

I can spend my whole life trying not to be somebody. Or I can spend my life seeing what God has for me and becoming it.

You don't find His power until you find the end of yourself.

The goal of the Book is to know the author.

If it's not for sale, don't advertise it (modesty).

What does it mean for believers to be salt and light? Revelation and preservation to the world!

A culture has never had a multi-generational revival. Why? Because the generations need to be reconciled.

The News for the Week

2009-02-07T11:52:00.000-08:00

Five weeks down with only seven to go. C (who has done a DTS before) told me it would fly by, but I wasn't sure how much I really believed her initially. The first few weeks went by fast in a way, but also dragged I suppose. I take a long time to get to know people, so the first few weeks were a lot of work and really tired me out. I have finally gotten used to this place and time has begun to fly by.

I am learning while two actions may look exactly the same from the outside, the inside motives can be completely different, causing different results. I am learning that the goal in life is not to become a Christian and win as many people to Jesus as we can. The point is not to do something good with our lives. The meaning is not to leave some sort of lasting impression on the world. The whole point of life *drumroll* is to love Jesus with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. From that love, all other things overflow. We learn how to love others. We gain a desire to obey Him. We learn what His heart is like and want ours to be like His.

In lighter news....geckoes fall on people's heads here. It is so cool. I had one fall on my leg earlier this week. It was a cute little baby. I live for this gecko falling phenomena. Talk about excitment when it occurs.
Also, there are tsunami alarms around here. They are supposed to go off the first of every month at noon as a test. Well on February 2nd at 11:45 am the tsunami test alarm went off. Maybe it was really a tsunami. But the town is still around, so I figure Hawaii is just uber chill. :)
I'm making crepes for my DTS. Mom, try not to laugh, but, yeah, I'm cooking. For other people. And they're gonna eat it. The food I cook. And they won't die. Or at least I'm not planning on it. Ha ha!!

Belated Update

2009-01-29T15:47:00.000-08:00

I apologize for my lack of updates in the time that I have been here. It looks as if in the one month-as of today-that I have been here I have blogged a total of two times. Tragic. :) I have had so much going on around me that I was overwhelmed at the thought of attempting to condense it into a blog post I suppose. I decided, however, that I would write some main highlights and things that are going on, and if anyone has any questions, I would love to answer them.

God. God is working. God has been working. I have forgotten how to see that. I am learning what it is to actually and practically follow Jesus. Yes, many of us can call ourselves Christians, but how many of us have forgotten what it means to put down our agenda and follow Him to be His friend and find out what His "agenda" is. Through this process and realizing that I cannot even be a loving person until I have a love for Jesus, I feel as if the world is suddenly a new place. With the hope of Jesus Christ in me, what do I have to fear. With the God of the universe loving me, how can I be lost in depression? With the creator of the stars with a plan for me, how can I be anxious? I am not saying that we will not show these qualities in a fallen world, I am just realizing a new lens to see the world through. I am excited to keep walking with Him and discover new truths about Him and see what His life and heart is all about.

On a side note, stale Crunch 'n Munch is fascinating. My fabulous mother sent me food. On the subject of food....I introduced my Korean friend to pbj. She saw me eating them. A lot. Up to twice a day and commented on it. I asked if she had ever had one, and she said no. *gasp* Life is not complete without trying pbj's...She tried one and loved it. Success!!!!

The Vision

2009-01-23T18:25:00.001-08:00

I am coming to a realization of the type of abandonment that is required of me in this relationship. I ask that God will continue to take me to a place where this sinks deeper. I am realizing how many things I pursue are merely me chasing after wind. My eyes are opening to some of the things He has created me for. I look forward to the continuing adventure of my life with Him.

In terms of updates and prayer requests, I will be going to Russia. We are still waiting for more concrete details, but our DTS has split into three major groups: Russia, Morocco, and the Balkans. These areas are three of the main human trafficking routes in the world. The three groups are planning on ending up in Amsterdam at the end, one of the largest red light districts in the world. All of these plans are a bit up in the air as things usually are when we are working with Jesus. :)

Things that I would so appreciate prayer for...
-God to provide visas for Russia. This is becoming an increasingly closed country, and it can be difficult to get visas.
-Safety for everyone in this school quarter. Many of the countries we are going to are closed countries where one can be jailed for sharing about our passion for Jesus Christ.

If anyone has any questions, I would love to hear from you!! :)

THE VISION

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.

They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.
What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers

choose to loose
that they might one day win
the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed.

Young people who beat their bodies into submission.

Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".

Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?

And the generation prays

like a dying man
with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and
with great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive

inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,

they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.
How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.y

I.....

2009-01-10T17:21:00.000-08:00

I....

-currently live on an active volcano in the middle of the ocean.

-am done with the homework assignment due Monday.

-do not have 5 am work duty until Monday. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!

-am thinking about going to the Korean church in Hilo tomorrow. That or the oldest church on the island....

-have the cutest 2 month old baby...second cuz or cuz once removed. Whatever she is, she is adorable.

-am thinking it is amazing to live among people from so many different countries.

-am hearing His voice and am excited to hear more.

-am trusting in His provision.

Why Did I Just Waste All That Time?

2009-01-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

105 Facts About You

1 - EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
Ha! That's funny. No way, Jose.

2 - LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
The one I'm in. Four months and a week tomorrow. Ha ha!!!

3 - LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Umm.....oh there was a present for me when I got here Thursday. Candy, a can of soda, popcorn, granola bar, and a keychain.

4 - EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
All the time. I'm surprised it hasn't exploded.

5 - WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
I'd say yesterday. Or maybe it was the day before. I don't remember....

6 - THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
School. All the money I have ever made has gone to tuition and books. Same way this semester actually.

7 - LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
I had chips cause it was the only form of food in my room and I was not literally starving but close.

8 - FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I would imagine the first thing you see about a person is their face. But guy's hands I definitely notice.

9 - ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Um....there are way too many to pick one. My i-pod is a fantabulous mix of country, worship, hip-hop, rock...

10 - WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
I am currently a resident of Kona, Hawaii. Bwa ha ha!!!

11 - HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Well, I was in a homeschool partnership program called Cotopaxi Homeschool Partnership while dual enrolled at Pueblo Community college which is actually located in Canon City. Is that confusing enough? ;)

12 - CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
verizon

13 - FAVORITE MALL STORE
Except for the food court, I don't really like the mall.

14 - LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
I worked with my Dad in floor covering for like 4 or 5 years pretty consistently.

15 - DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Huh? No....

16 - DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
I did it once or twice. I laugh so much that I it never works.

17 - LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
I could swear I went to one just this summer. Um....guess it wasn't too important cause I can't remember. ;)

18 - FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Well, if I could call Luke I would, but I can't. Therefore I would call my Mom.

19 - LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
It was the middle of October. Only about five months to go though. :)

20 - FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
I would kill for McDonalds right now. Insane I know, but I SO want some good junk food.

21 - BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
Um, someone said and acted like they really cared about me, but it was just a fill some time type of thing. It's all good now though. :)

23 - WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Um....I would love some of my Mom's food. Only a week and i already miss it.

24 - CAN YOU COOK?
Of course. I am quite accident prone, but I can cook. ;)

25 - WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
Wow, I won't be driving for another five months, but when I do, I have an Isuzu. Go four wheel drive!

26 - BEST KISSER:
I dunno the answer to that. No experience there. He he...

27 - LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Well, honestly, today.

28 - MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Well, cabbage, most Mexican food except quesadillas, tacos and burritos, and a majority of the veggies God created.

29 - THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I'm pretty comfy with just being myself.

30 - THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can get really freaked around people I don't know.

32 - LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
Um, last one I remember was when I was in Breck working with mi padre. We just busted out a job in two days. Stayed overnight, cause the drive was uber long and just worked all day.

33 - FAVORITE MOVIE?
I watch everything except musicals. I love comedies, war movies, dramas, and horror. Although I have backed off from horror recently.

34 - CAN YOU SING?
My Mom and Luke say I can. I dunno though.

35 - LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Mmm, don't remember. I've gotta hit one up soon. :)

36 LAST KISS?
If I believed in reincarnation, I would say in my last lifetime. In other words, not in existence. :)

37 LAST MOVIE RENTED:
Em and I rented "House Bunny" on my last night home. That seems so long ago. And it was so cold there....

38 - ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Cell phone. I'm basically tied to it. Never know when I might get an Iraqi phone call. He he...

39 - FAVORITE vacation spot?
I love to see things. Anywhere is good.

43 - LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
I just have a laptop now, and I am SO thankful for it.

44 - FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
I never really sit and just listen to a comedian. I like funny people. My sister and I have our own comedy show come to think of it.

45 - DO YOU SMOKE?
Not on a regular basis.

46 - SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
Okay, weird. But to alleviate any rumors. With.

47 - WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
My stuffed dog is still @ home. I miss him....

48 - DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
Yes!!! :) Currently in one.

49 - HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
Um, three times. Only one ticket though. And two were in one day. ;)

50 - PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
French toast all the way baby. Pancakes are gross. Soggy bread really....

51 - DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Ewie! Although I plan on trying HI coffee here. It would be sad not to at least check it out.

52 - HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't eat them much, cause they're creepy, but when i do it is fried or hard boiled. And only my Mom can make good fried eggs.

53 - DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
no

54 - LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
My Mommy!!!

55 - LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
The madre of the kiddos I'm gonna sit on Fridays.

56 - WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
From mi hermana about her watching a movie tonite.

58 - NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
I packed uber light. A tiny travel one. ;)

59 - WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
jean shorts, Kung Fu t-shirt. yay!

60 - PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
scars heal glory fades. all we're left with is the memories made.

61 - WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?
grape all the way. no chunks. ever.

62 - CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
it's hit and miss. sometimes i kick butt and often i cant even hit the ball.

63 - CAN YOU SWIM?
swim team for like 4 years baby.

64 - FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
I'm in ice cream rehab. Unwillingly. I haven't had any for like a week. AH!!!!!!!! choco chip cookie dough, come to me.

65 - DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
a lifesaver since i never pay attention to where i am at.

66 - TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
My new awesomem place is under my bed. It's the perfect spot to lay and read or type. :)

68 - EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
Ya, everyone i know is funny enough to theme their parties.

69 - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Um, I kinda skipped out on winter, so I'm looking forward to it next time around.

70 - LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Um, I was IMing Luke. And something he said made me laugh. I don't even remember what though.

71 - WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
5 freaking am! ;)

72 - BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Sledding, snowboarding, snowshoeing....

73 - LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
tragedy really. I changed my address and didn't know i had to notify my insurance company. therefore, i didn't get the whole license plate renewal thing...whoops...ticket.

75 - NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
my first very own was samuel pickles. hated people but i loved him.

76 - DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
I'm gonna be one when I grow up. ;)

77 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Hopefully gonna go see Shannon and Mario and little baby. Yay!

78 - BIRTHDAY
cinco de mayo, yo!

79 - WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
A vet, a worshipper, a friend, a traveler, an adventurer....

85 - ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
indeed i am

87 - ARE YOU SMILING?:
the thought of looking at a computer screen grinning by myself in a room almost makes me smile...

89 - DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
My guy, mi madre, mi padre, mi hermanas, y mi hermanos.

90 - IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Hmmm, I'm hoping to get to Africa/Europe in 3 months.

92 - ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
Heck no! And i am totally cool with that.

93 - DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
More than a crush. :)

94 - WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Oooh, Perspephone is cool. Abbsynia....I like oddball names.

95 - WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
The one here is a black top and green shorts.

96 - DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
If I go next fall, yes, it will be.

97 - DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
Um, no. I did some traveling. Wait, I was on vacation from school.

98 - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
The idea just doesn't quite appeal to me.

99 - DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
Dos

100 - ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
Actually yes. My new room is upstairs.

101 - ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Oh, yes. ;)

102 - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Not for myself except when I was born. Wait, yeah, i had stitches....

103 - DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Yes! The people I miss.

104 - WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
My ever present watch, hair tye, and camo bandanna bracelet are still on my wrist. What's new?

105 - WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Go get dinner. It ends in like 25. Better run. ;) Then worship. I'm so excited....

Almost the End of Week One

2009-01-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that it has almost been one week that I have been here. In some senses it has flown by and in others it has been a long week. I sit here wondering how I could possibly summarize in several paragraphs all that has happened in this short period of time....

To give you all an idea of a typical day...I am blessed with the challenge of breakfast duty. This morning I got up at 4:50 to be to the kitchen by 5 am. Woo hoo!!! I am responsible for cleaning all the pots and pans used to make breakfast and also keeping the laundry (rags and aprons) going. Work duty is a ten hour per week job. After this, we have an hour of worship and three hours of classes and then lunch. Since my particular school is focusing on Justice, we have had some good conversations about the meaning of justice, orphans and widows, and so forth. After lunch, our afternoons vary. We may have quiet-time, small groups, etc. Next is dinner and then evenings also vary. Again there may be more worship-often with the whole school gathering this time. We also have books to read throughout the quarter and homework assignments to work on.

God has really been speaking to me about where my heart and priorities lie. I realize that I want to be in a place where I desire to be with Him. I desire a closer intimacy with Jesus. After all, that is why I am on this earth...From that love, a desire to be His hands and feet will come. It will be a desire because of a love for Him rather than a love for myself. Frankly, I am realizing my pride needs to die. :)

In this midst of all of this, I am still praying for the funds to get to my outreach. I successfully made it to the training part of the school and have faith that He will provide the rest of what I need. I am looking into possibly trying to get a job on the weekends to help pay the rest of what I need. I would appreciate prayer in this area and if anyone has any ideas for me in the area of fundraising or would like to be a part of helping me do a fundraiser, please let me know!

God has been speaking to me through Isaiah 59 and 60. These chapters are good guidelines of how justice works and what it means to live this concept out.

God bless!

First Update!

2009-01-03T22:27:00.000-08:00

I have safely arrived in Hawaii. I was greeted by geckos and outdoor airport terminals. I have been busy trying to figure out what I am supposed to be doing when and how to get ourselves unlocked out of possessed bathroom doors. I am rooming with four other people and am really looking forward to getting to know these people that are in love with Jesus.

I suspected in coming on this adventure that God was going to be teaching me about letting things go. I have been reminded twice today that I have to drop things out of my hands in order for Him to put the thing He wants to into my hands. I know I have heard the voice of God and am capable of it, but I have a struggle with wanting to hear. I have an unsubstantiated fear of Him not wanting me to do something i want to with my life and being depressed forever. Silly, yes. Truth, yes. Well, one day at a time. God, give me the strength to give You the things you ask for. And give me the wisdom to know when you are talking to me.

I am amazed at this opportunity that I have in front of me. I am looking forward to starting our first real day on Monday. We will start our training on bringing justice to areas where there is none. And showing Christ's love to others.

Reverse Resolutions

2008-12-31T17:55:00.000-08:00

In 2009 I Will Not...

-Start eating more vegetables. Unless Hawaii has an abundance of broccoli or green beans which I LOVE.

-Eat ice cream more than three times a week. This is not a choice I gladly make. It is mostly because 1) most of the year I will not be around a freezer to store my ice cream and 2) I will only be able to afford ice cream on free scoop day at 31 flavors.

-Be sleeping in my own bed for at least half of the year and hopefully longer than that. I am once again entering the world of living out of backpack and sleeping in very random areas.

-Not meet new people. As a matter of fact, in a matter of hours, I will be meeting a bunch of people who will be my homies for the next half of a year.

-Start to like tomatoes. I keep trying, but it really has never worked for me. What can I say?

-Stop smoking, because I honestly never really started.

-Drink less, because you have to drink more to drink less.

-Stop being addicted to FaceBook. Too bad, world, I enjoy it. And until I am in the middle of Morocco or St. Petersburg or the Balkans, hanging out with my kids with no access to the internet, it's gonna stay that way.

-Make a New Year's resolution that starts like: "This year I resolve to....". I'm only resolving not to ______, thank you very much.

-Stop my amazing friends, family, and favorite guy that God has blessed me with.

Great News

2008-12-30T14:52:00.000-08:00

So, the big news has arrived...OUTREACH LOCATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is the e-mail...

Hey Guys,
We're really excited for you to get here in a few days. We're continually praying for you. In our praying for outreach, we feel the Lord has been leading us to follow paths of injustice. We feel their are 3 paths we're supposed to follow. One starts in Morocco and goes through Europe to Amsterdam. The second route starts in the Balkans and goes through Europe to Amsterdam. The third route starts in St. Petersburg and goes through Scandinavia to Amsterdam. You will spend at least 1 month in a key location (such as - 1 month in St. Petersburg) and then the second month would be spent traveling to Amsterdam, which is our debriefing location.

So, praying about where God wants me...And packing. :) I fit everything into my backpacking pack and a carry-on backpack! My Mom was laughing at me and threatening to take pictures of the small amount of packing I did. So, pics may be up soon. Maybe...

In other news, I got in invite to interview for MSU's vet school program!!! However, it is in February in the middle of my training for YWAM. So, I will be declining the offer. If God wants me in, I suppose I'll be going to KSU or CSU. :)

Leaving on Thursday...Until then I plan on saying bye to my best friend, C, hanging with my hermana tomorrow night, and just spending time with my family. I will likely post another update before leaving, so until then...aloha! ;)

Hike and Soapbox

2008-12-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

Just about three more days of living in my fabulous Colorado and being with some of my favorite people in the world. I have had quite a few people ask if I am excited in the last few days. I am excited. Very excited to see what God has in store and to hear His voice in these next few months. I can honestly say however that I am so unsure of what is in store for me (A good stretching experience) that I am more in extreme curiosity and a little bit of apprehension rather than excitement at this current moment...I know myself well enough though to know that I do this before all big stages or adventures in life. Give me a bit of time to get used to the situation, and I'll be ready to kick butt through the whole thing. ;)

Huge thoughts the past few days. And I feel like I am learning that it is okay to wonder these things and have these questions yet still be unsure. God has it in His hands, and I will know when I need to know. The concept of orphans has confronted me like fifty bazillion times in the last three days. Why is that? God, what are you trying to tell me?

It seems there is a reason God has not explicitly stated everything in His word for me. The point is not some formula to be followed. The point is a relationship with Jesus Christ. The point is that we were created to worship Him. The point is He knows how each of us can individually do that. I can only do that by spending time with Him as I would with someone I love.

Off the soapbox now. :) Yay for Sunday hikes in cold weather! My fabulous friends Carly and Aaron went with my family to one of the greatest hiking places near our house. Thus, pictures. The top one is the result of my Mom's yearly attempt to fit us all in a picture at once and looking presentable. This year was not so bad although it took several tries as usual...

Epiphany

2008-12-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has been a Christian for more than two seconds has likely heard things about "spreading the gospel" and "bringing people to Christ". This has always been a question/struggle/curiosity in my mind for several reasons:

-Christians are not the only "kind" and "loving" people. We are not the only ones that work on humanitarian projects or go on missions trips. What makes us different?
-It is stinking hard to share with some people. Regardless of whether or not you say the "right things" a person could still be completely closed to the love of Jesus.
-Many people-especially in the United States-flat out don't want to hear about anything having to do with God, church, or the Bible. Often because they have been burned by it in the past.

I think I am realizing that life is simpler than I thought it was. I think the idea of a flaming person setting the world on fire for Jesus Christ is the idea implanted in our minds so much that we forget about another way. I am not saying this is the only way or the end all, but I wonder if it is not a bit simpler. For example:

-I was made to worship Jesus. Hands down, the end. Seems so easy.
-I am not needed to bring people to an understanding of the love of Jesus. It is all Him. He just allows me to be used.
-How else would I want to be using my time? I was left on this earth for that reason. Maybe I just need to shift my focus a bit...

In any case, that could be completely not cohesive and make no sense. However, these are the ideas running around in my head, so they are put down into history by writing them. Well, maybe not that extreme. ;)

Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas in Hawaiian)

2008-12-23T07:56:00.000-08:00

It has begun!!! I got an e-mail today that contained *drum roll* the arrival information. Currently the whole thing seems very surreal. Sure I am leaving in 9 days, but that is FOREVER, so I just will avoid the thought. And no, I have not started packing. :)
It is not as if I don't want to go, it is just so big and unknown that I am not sure how to think about it-therefore I kind of avoid the thought currently.

Random Updates On the Subject
-The DTS will be revolving around "The Past Effecting the Future". Where that means I still do not know for sure, but I am praying about it and have my ideas. :)
-I still haven't decided yay or nay on the whole guitar bringing thing yet.
-My DTS has about 22 students in it, but the school overall has 250 students arriving for the January quarter!!!! Talk about taking over the world here...
-One thing I know about the whole thing. Orientation/welcome in Ohana Court. No, this is not a "Lilo and Stitch" movie. :) I am supposed to bring a gift as a "small expression of my culture". Colorado...A rock? :) Nah, any ideas?

Clarification and Comic and Lesson

2008-12-22T09:25:00.000-08:00

Clarification: The interview I went to in Manhattan, Kansas this weekend was for a veterinary school interview. I will find out the verdict in two to three weeks, but the school does not start until the fall semester: in August or September. :)

Funny comic!!

Note to self: Boots can be caught on fire. It all started when I was driving home from P-town with the fabulous sis, Em, who is 3 years younger than me. We were driving along singing along to Avril. We have a tendency to sing ridiculous girl songs when we are together in the car. Anyway, I had an epiphony and realized that I had hand sanitizer and matches in my car. This is ironic in that hand sanitizer is 99.9% alcohol and very flammable. Before Em could grab the two, light it, and throw it out the car window, I suggested we wait until there weren't cars all around us who could copy my plates and get me busted big time. So, we waited until we were "safely" home in our driveway. I lit the alcohol on fire and had a nice little fire going. I probably could have roasted mini marshmallows actually. Anyway, after a few minutes of being in the -14 degree outdoors, I wanted to get rid of the fire and go inside. I tried to stomp it out, but found that hand sanitizer AND fire stick to a boot. Ah, that was fun. It was quickly remedied by stomping a lot, but Em kept laughing at the fact at I "set my shoe on fire". ;)

Good Music and What's Up

2008-12-21T16:26:00.000-08:00

Good song!

Update in as few words as possible...
-Finished up the job in Breck my Dad and I had. I love Breck in the winter. It would be amazing to live up there for a month or so someday. ;)

-Interview also done. The drive to Manhattan and back was accomplished in two days. I got up at 5 am that morning to blow dry my hair, actually dress up. It felt great to walk out of the interview, knowing the rest was completely up to God. I should find out in a week or two. The school was also amazing. Talk about crazy cool facilities...

-It is possible to set a shoe on fire. Yes, I accomplished this. Quite fun.

-Talk about coincidences. I saw a girl in Manhattan that I used to work with in Canon. What are the odds of being at the right Chili's at the right time and place let alone the right city in Kansas...

-I wrote a song!!!!! My first ever. I have the words and the chords to the verses but I am waiting for some uber amazing inspiration for chords to the chorus. Hmmm....

-I leave in a matter of 10 and half days. Where does the time go? And how does one say good-bye to the most amazing friends and family ever for five months...

Announcement Part Dos

2008-12-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

Driving. I don't even want to calculate how many hours I spent in a car. I was at CSU-P for 5 semesters. I drove in to school 3 to 5 days a week with an approximate 50 minute drive each way. That's a hundred miles a day. That's up to five hundred miles a week. That's up to 8000 miles a semester. That's up to 40,000 miles I have successfully driven. I should get get a plaque for that. Good times though. I officially know where every single station in the Pueblo/Fremont County area goes in and out down to the mile marker. And of course I know every song on every one of those radio stations. And some of the best conversations I have ever had have been in cars with my carpool buddies. Shout out to A!!! I loved your car, man. I was afraid it would burst into flames every time I got into it though. Go, K!! I am still sad that you had to leave me for CofO. Woohoo N!!! You really made me think. You had some fascinating ideas. Yay S!!! We still need to have a Highschool Musical marathon by the way.

Moving. Here is an ode to moving. I moved a total of 5 times in the entirety of my college career. That is an average of once per semester. The funny thing is that all my moving happened in one single year. I'll just chock that one up to a sense of adventure. Although by the 5th time one has to move a fish, a frog, and a hermit crab across the state of Colorado, it is a little old.

Sleep. I love my sleep. It is one of my best friends. But there are those semesters in which I stayed up until 1 or 2 in the morning and got up at 6:45 to leave town by 7 to make it to an 8 o'clock class. That was the semester I fondly entitle "The Jeans and T-shirt Semester". Not to say every semester isn't that way, but most other semesters I will break the mold once or twice a week by wearing *drumroll please* a nice shirt. Whoa! Yeah, I think my calc friends probably thought I was homeless. I wore the same thing for sixteen weeks. I am proud to say that I never pulled an all-nighter for studying though. I listened to my older and wiser friends on that point.

Breaks. I think this is the only time in life one gets two one week breaks, a four week break, and a twelve week break in the span of one year. It's really quite fabulous. My best adventures were had in these breaks...Mexico, Africa, spring break in Mississippi near a beach, wildlife rehab center, dirt farmer, subcontractor, and Cali on Turkey break to name a few.

Announcement Part Uno

2008-12-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

I have an announcement to make....*long, suspenseful pause*....I JUST GRADUATED!!!!!! I officially (assuming I pass all my classes of course) have my BS (stands for bachelor of science, nothing else. Although I do admit I had to take a few b.s. classes in there...) with a minor in chemistry. In the middle of it, it seemed like years away-which technically it was-but in looking back, I feel like time flew. I think I have learned more in this short period of life than the other fifteen or sixteen years combined.

In the tradition of remembering stupid stories or lessons learned....

Obedience. Yup, that has probably been the most important lesson I have learned in this period of time. Hands down, God knows what is best for me. And trying to go against that does not work. Sure, I could say that was obvious with my mouth, but I had to have a hard lesson in trying to make a situation work before I realized I would be so much better off just waiting on God.

Organic Chemistry. This class truly was insane as all the rumors I heard of it when I was a freshie. I dreaded it, but once I got into it, it was probably one of the best classes ever because of the friends I made. We studied our butts off for this class about 4/7. Yes, four hours a day seven days a week. Seriously. We were so ridiculous we would actually make up extra problems and post them in "The Cave" for each other to figure out. Okay, so it sounds gay, but we all got A's and that is unheard of. So laugh all you want... ;)

No coffee. You know, I find it fascinating that I am not hooked on coffee. Everyone said I would be by the time I got the end of my undergraduate career. I am proud to say that I graduated not under the influence of any caffeinated compounds. I was high on life!!! Not coffee...Okay, so that was a little intense.

Amino acids. I think it is rather funny really because after spending likely 20 to 24 hours of my short life memorizing 20 amino acids, including their structures, their one letter designations, and their three letter designations, I will likely forget them by March 12th. Yeah, I'd say I may remember them for three months. Maybe...

To be continued...

The Old Man and a Good Song...

2008-12-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

I always said to myself that I wrote in my notebooks because I wanted to be able to look back years down the road and see what I was like, what I was thinking, and how I have changed. I dragged out some of my old notebooks last night-about 9 for the past few years. I realize that it is probably closer to finding out how much I actually haven't changed and that I have the same struggles now that I did three years ago. :) Hopefully I am a little mature now than I was at 17 however.
I do realize the benefit of concluding that I have the same weaknesses. In order to fight, one must know what they fight against. I am a "striver". I am always striving for the next thing. The next project, the next mission, the next accomplishment. When I was in high-school, I was getting all my ducks in a row for CSU-P. When I got to CSU-P, I was trying to figure it all out to get to CofO. When I didn't get there, it was all about moving to Pueblo. And, you'll never guess but when I got to Pueblo it was all about getting back to Canon. He he...I must continue making the daily decision to live life to its fullest in the here and now. This is what He has gifted me with, and I choose to walk in it. While I will continue to prepare for the future, I want it to fade into the background as a small portion of life that He completely has in His hands.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

"Everything"
-Lifehouse

A Choice

2008-12-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

I actually wrote this post a while back, but I realize one can come to the conclusion I came to and come across the same situation again. It seems that life is a series of decisions we must make daily.

Thinking so much about my kids in Webuye again lately. A question I have had since I went there continues to echo in my brain. Whether it is the kids I fall in love with in Africa or the people I fall in love with here, I realize there is always that fear of losing. It could make life so much easier to merely not let anyone else in and not risk that. But after thinking about it, I realize that a love would not be as strong if there wasn't a possibility of losing. If I knew it would always be there and I would never lose it, it would not mean half as much.

It is a choice between making yourself numb and feeling the cuts. It is a difference between not running and your lungs feeling nothing or running and letting your lungs scream for oxygen. My mouth feels like it is full of metal, and I feel the muscles in my leg with each stride. But the satisfaction and feeling of being alive that I get after running those 13 miles makes it all worth it.

So I make the choice to feel that pain. In that, I have also made the choice to feel. Which in actuality, I have realized, is a choice to live. And now I feel ready to take the world on. I'm ready for God to take me wherever. I want to meet new people, continue to grow in relationships with the ones I know, and leave the future in His hands.

Snow Day!!!

2008-12-09T11:33:00.000-08:00

Last night we got about 4 to 5 inches of snow. God was listening to me. :) I asked for a good snow before I left for Hawaii and missed my favorite Colorado season: winter.

It all started with shoveling the driveway with Aubry. I think she successfully cleared about one square foot area. Ha ha...Then Joe, Aubry, and I trekked out to sled in the backyard. I decided to go sledding in my pj pants, no gloves, and my Dad's boots. You would be correct in assuming I am not equipped with snow gear this year. ;) If I am going to play in the snow, I might as well feel the burn of snow on my toes and soaking wet pjs pants on my legs, right?

Eventually, Mom and Micah came out. As you can see from the picture, we successfully got Mom to go down once. No serious injuries sustained. Situation well in hand. The only injuries sustained throughout the whole adventure were Josiah snowboarding into a tree and myself stopping in the middle of my descent with a knee on a rock. That is what happens when you try to sled in a Colorado desert backyard. That or cactus. I am thankful for the rock in comparison.

I intend to compile a book of college kid recipes at some point in my life in order to aid the student population in staying alive for their college careers. I discovered a new one to add to the list....Saute potatoes, add green beans at the last minute to get them warm, top with ranch dressing. Disgusting and yummy all at the same time. The perk? It has nothing to do with ramen noodles. A miracle really...

Brain Stir Fry

2008-12-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

I think my brain has nearly reached that point of fried...As in, I read the same sentence three times, and I still don't know what I read two seconds later. Well, I am praying it will last me 3 days and 18 hours more. :) Today, I checked microbiology and environmental toxicology off the list. Woo hoo!! The 17 page microbiology test wasn't bad; the twenty page environmental toxicology was though...Praise God for successfully getting through two finals with only two more to go! Physics II and biochemistry are left. Almost there...

The joy of the Lord is my strength. I choose to daily place my thoughts in the fact that He has rescued me and allowed me to have a relationship with Him. With this in mind, an out of this world joy that supersedes the situations going on around me is possible. :)

Quotes

2008-12-06T11:52:00.000-08:00

Some good quotes from this semester so far...

"Faith is not intelligent understanding, faith is deliberate commitment to a Person where I see no way. Are you debating whether to take a step in faith in Jesus or to wait until you can see how to do the thing yourself? Obey Him with glad reckless joy".
-Oswald Chambers

Me: Did you dye your hair?
My most amazing friend: Yeah. I got highlights and low lights.
Guy that was listening to the conversation: *deer in the headlights look while thinking what I was saying*
Me: What are lowlights?

"I believe there are hundred of thousands of young people who are just waiting for a really challenging, dangerous job that requires them to give up everything. You may be one. The reward? Being a part of the climaxing event of all history-taking the gospel to every person on earth".
-Loren Cunningham

Person one: So, I heard a quote in this movie the other day: "Love is friendship set on fire".
Person two: When will our friendship be set on fire? We could roast marshmallows.

Study friend: Geek
Me: Nerd
Study friend: Dork
Me: Freak
Friend: Oh, burn!!!!....You wear patchouli, don't you?

Excuses...

2008-12-05T17:08:00.000-08:00

So, with the official last attendance of class happening this afternoon-YAY!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!! SWEET!!!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! EXCITEMENT!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!-comes studying for finals. Well, the continuation of studying for finals. I generally find myself at this point in the semester-a time most critical for studying-to be in the least mood for it. Some examples of my excuses so far:
-I have not checked Facebook for a whole 30 minutes. I really need to check it.
-I know I ate like 20 minutes ago, but I wonder if there are any good snacks in the cupboard.
-My 3 ring binder just bit me. I'm suing someone and not studying anymore.
-Theoretically, I should know all this already. Why study?
-Why do I need to graduate again?
-My highlighter is out of juice. Oh well...
-Staring off into space....an hour later....oh, bummer, guess I better go to bed....
-Oh!!! I haven't blogged today. That was the most recent one I suppose. ;)

Well, I am certain that the next 6 days and 18 hour will fly by. No, I am not counting. Soon enough I will walk out of my last final and be on to the next challenge. I am excited to see what God has in store for this next season of life. I feel as if I have learned that I truly am not capable of doing something on my own. The only way I got through these last four years was by His grace and strength. I have also grown so much in these last two and a half years in Pueblo. I can hardly believe it flew by so fast, and I wouldn't have traded this period of time for the world. :)

In Your Presence, God, I'm Completely Satisfied

2008-12-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

"Divine Romance" by Phil Wickam

The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied

Disturbing...

2008-12-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

My guy, L, has been in Iraq for a whole month already!!! Only six more to go until I see him. So, I have decided we could be in the book for weirdest relationship ever. We met at the end of last summer when he was on leave, started courting/going out/whatever the day before he left to go back to base. I went to see him for a weekend about three weeks before he deployed. So, we have been together for like three months-whoa!!!!-and I have been around him for a total of three weeks. That makes me laugh out loud to myself as a matter of fact. :) I must say, however, that God is so evident in the whole thing so far. It was a random chain of events that let us meet each other to say the least.
So, dear reader (if at all existent), you must be asking yourself what provoked this paragraph. I was sitting here looking through some blogs. I came across Edge's blog where "Disturbia" was mentioned. I laughed when I realized I got a big smile on my face every time this song comes on the radio. It reminds me of going to Las Vegas and being at the Marine Corp ball with Rihanna blaring in the background. So much for high class Micheal Buble or something....But I probably wouldn't have a story to tell if that was the case.
In other news, 9 days until I finish up my bachelor's!!!! And 30 days until I start the next grand adventure: YWAM...

Word Vomit

2008-12-03T06:49:00.000-08:00

So...

-I must be cursed to be sick on the day I have 3 tests and 2 quizzes.

-You can get blazed off of cough drops and ibuprofen. Don't chase the purple dragon!! :)

-I love to see my breath when I walk to class in the morning.

-Never make yogurt in your environmental micro project. It is a 65% certainty that you will barf.

-I still must figure out how to do linear regression on my calculator. I was instructed to do it over thanksgiving break, but I most certainly did not do that...

-This is the last crazy Wednesday of my undergrad. No more 10 to 6 full of classes here. Woohoo!!!

-So, I was just asked to speak at youth group. I think God listened to that thing I was talking about when I said I wanted to be stretched. ooops...He he...

-I feel like the clock by the computer always says 7:58. Maybe I'm always at the computer at that time. Oh!!!

-Goji berries look like little carrot bits. They are used for tea, and are actually quite drinkable.

-My bed hasn't been made for ages. I know this is normal to some but not me. I am religious about my room being neat. Well, speaking of not doing the norm, you should see my floor.

-I really should get some crickets for Obadiah. He's probably hungry.

-I just realized I leave in one month and one day for YWAM. How did this happen? Who's life am I living...

-I should probably end this post since I need to go to school, and I still haven't started warming up my poor little freezing car.

A Thought Or Two

2008-11-28T20:41:00.000-08:00

I need a heart that wants to obey, that desires to please my master. I need a radical trust in His character that naturally generates joy in following His lead.

Only through His grace, can I get to this point. For a moment, I wonder how I reach this point of radical trust. Then I realize that it is only through difficult situations and the challenge of decisions to be made that I will reach this place. But the appeal of this concept of radical trust makes me realize those hard times will be worth it.

I am watching Patricia and Susannah decorate their Christmas tree. Ah, I can't believe it is that time of the year again. Remembering past Christmas trees....
Last year was the epitome of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. I was in the middle of moving from the apartment with C and P and moving to P-town. It was the first year I didn't get to decorate or have a tree. But P made my week by helping me make a tree out of a branch-yes, seriously-and ornaments out of tin foil and thread. :)

What I'm Thankful For...

2008-11-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

What am I thankful for this week?

-A week off of school to let my brain cool off a bit and do some catching up on studying.

-An amazing Dad who lets me work with him whenever I randomly have time off.

-The broccoli cheese soup I got to eat for dinner. Thanks, Mom! :)

-Less than three weeks left of school.

-The way God is faithful to provide day by day for YWAM.

-That I got to talk to L for 50 minutes yesterday!!!! I haven't talked to him for that long in about a month. Wooopeee!!!

-Laughing with my sister about appendicitis and the hilarity of googling symptoms...

-A little sister who is always up to giving me a hug.

Guess what!?

2008-11-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

So....I GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR KSU'S VET SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo!!! I am scheduled for an interview at 8:30 in the morning on December 20th. I can't believe it. This is something that has been in the works since high-school and now...Who knows, I may not get in. And that would be okay. Then again I may get in. Maybe God has been helping me out all along so that I could get to this place. Only time will tell. But until then I will jump up and down that I have an interview.

Plus, it is the Friday before break. Who couldn't be full of energy at the thought of having a whole week in which I will not be assigned any more homework. This is the first break I have decided to take it easy and not do a whole lot. Usually I hop on a plane and go see family or hop in a car with a bunch of people and go build houses. He he...But this time it is going to be chill. God provided me with some work with my Dad for a few days which will help in the mulah department. And I have 8 finals to study for, so I will have no reason to complain about being bored. :)

The Adventure

2008-11-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday, I was just workin' on homework, played my guitar a little bit, did some more homework, made cereal bars, did some more homework, went to the bank, did some more homework. 4:30 rolls around, and I was literally about to jump out of my skin. I tried doing a hundred crunches and 20 pushups. That was nice. For about 30 minutes. Since I didn't want to do like 500 crunches over the course of the day, certain that my lunch would be squished back up and out my mouth. Ew... I decided to do something random!!!Therefore, I sent P a text message: "Want to drive to New Mexico". I get a text back, "What? When? Huh?". Then she calls me asking what in the world. I said I was serious. Let's just drive to New Mexico. Give me one good reason why not. So, we decided to go. Sadly, C had to be a good student and go to classes, so it was just P and I. So, we drove, got hungry, stopped and got some gas station food. Have you ever noticed how gas station food is like always mystery food. You never know what you're going to get....Anyway, we drove, and drove, and drove. Got to the border of New Mexico after talking about the meaning of life, the future, making music videos, etc. We stood in two states at once-seriously...In the middle of the night, pulled over and just did it. Oh, and we made sure the state of New Mexico would know that we had been there also. ;) Then we drove back, and drove, and drove, and drove, stopped and got some peach-o's... P is the only other person on the face of the planet that I know that likes these along with me. We drove, and finally got home. And went to bed. The End.

Now I have a few minutes before I need to take a micro test. So, I should probably start walking over to class right about now. Happy Wednesday!

A Thought

2008-11-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

When we label someone, we fail to treat that person like Jesus would. We take a soul and cheapen it, render someone less than God made her [or her] to be. When we name her [or her], we accomplish what the Birlings couldn't bring themselves to do: elevate her closer to the image of God.

So let's not let anyone's name become a throwaway line. If we're going to say it, let's make sure we mean it ... because we're addressing an immortal in the flesh.

"Names and Labels" by George Halitzka on Boundless

The Weirdness of Me

2008-11-16T20:35:00.000-08:00

I am going to win the contest for longest time on the internet in one shot. Um, I've been on for 9 hours. Almost ten...*cough, cough* There is a fantastic reason for this however. At least it is fantastic in my opinion. That guy that I rarely get to talk to. You know the one that is halfway around the world? Well, something going on today where he is up all night with access to a computer. Therefore, we "hung out" all day. He he...My sister looked at me a while ago and said I looked like a stoner cause my eyes were so wigged out from looking at a computer screen all day. :) And now it is nearly ten, I am super tired, and it is time for bed. Woo hoo!!! Good-bye weekend...

The Thought of the Day...

2008-11-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about things concerning the future and different ideas and plans. I think this just inevitably happens when a person is about to graduate in a few weeks. :) The last thing I want is any part of my life to become apathetic or stagnant. I crave a challenge and am starting to think I am not going to grow out of it.

So, the thought of the day is that we are not truly living until we live to die for something. I think God created us and wired us to live with this type of passion. This thought was inspired while reading a book that my friend Ben gave me. It is the story of the guy who started the YWAM base that I will be going to. The quote that really got me thinking: "I believe there are hundreds of thousands of young people who are just waiting for a really challenging, dangerous job that requires them to give up everything. You may be one. The reward? Being a part of the climaxing event of all history-taking the gospel to every person on earth". -"Making Jesus Lord" by Loren Cunningham

dum dee dum

2008-11-13T11:52:00.000-08:00

So, I had a primary interview at Office Depot this morning. Yay for the possibility of work over Turkey break and the few weeks after I get out of school before YWAM! My Mom was threatening to make me go live with C and P if I couldn't find a job, cause she couldn't handle me and the way I get with "non-activity". ha ha... :) I have a second interview tomorrow, and it looks like I will find out for sure then whether the job of stocking is mine. Wahoo!!!

After about a year or more of inactivity, I have picked up my friend Simon (my guitar) once again. It feels so good to be playing again and getting the calluses on my fingers. I am learning to play "More Than a Friend" by Jeremy Riddle and "You Have My Attention" by Copeland.

So, I gave a presentation in toxicology on CS Gas. I was inspired after L told me about how Marines (and others in various military branches) go through training that puts them through a gas chamber with CS gas. CS gas is also commonly known as tear gas or riot gas. Pretty sweet stuff really. It is a microscopic barb that attaches itself to anything that is slightly wet: eyes, nose, sweaty skin, etc. It makes a person sneeze, cough, have a burning skin sensation, and get a really snotty nose. Yummy!!! No wonder it quells riots. And how ironic that individuals in the military and those training for law enforcement positions have to expose themselves to it.

Only 2 days until the Spaghetti Dinner. I am excited to see what God does! :)

Argh!

2008-11-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am learning so many things about myself lately. It is always really exciting to go through a time when life is stretching, because I know that God is teaching me. It stinks at the time, but there are no bones that are broken that He doesn't fix and wounds he doesn't bind (Job 5:18).

Realization one: I crave challenge. I need to fight for something. I am nearly to the end of the challenge of my undergrad, and I think part of my frustration lately is trying to decide what I want to tackle next. I am so afraid of an apathetic life that I get anxious about the next step. Plus, I have an added element to the decision that I have never had to consider before. I am not quite sure how to do that.

Realization two: I close off when I get frustrated. And I'm frustrated. Therefore, I am going into my "I-need-to-do-500-pushups-every-hour-to-get-rid-of-this-energy" mode. I recognize the good of a situation and the blessings, but I don't really understand how it all works out in the end. I have zero clue what is going on, and as a control freak of my own little bubble of a life :) my brain is going off in a bazillion different directions. I have little to no concept of being quiet and listening to Him and I just spin my wheels to try and make something happen. Ha ha...I can just imagine my Mom saying this about me when we're having a conversation. :)

So, what am I going to do about this? I am going to continue doing what it is I know I am supposed to be doing today. That includes being there for the people He has put into my life right now, studying for biochemistry, continually putting my frustrations and anxiety in His hands, and praising Him for whatever it is He blesses me with.

Go Craigs List

2008-11-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

Craigs List. A fascinating place really. It can be good, and it can be...interesting. The place I was living up in Longmont this summer was found through Craigs List. Great experience really. I call the number in the listing, I agreed with the rent price, and told the lady what date I would be there. She said that she would be out of town at the time, but she would leave the door unlocked. I thought that meant unlocked as in not bolted. No, it meant literally open. I found my house right away the night I drove up, because it was the only house on the block with a wide open door.

Experience number 2 with Craigs List involves looking for a job. Yes, I am looking for a job. It looks like I will be a holiday employee of some Canon chain like Hastings or Wal-Mart. I shall know in a few days. In any case, I saw an ad for a business needing a cleaning person. Okay, cool, I think in my head. I send an e-mail about being interested. I get an e-mail back that says the position is open, but I have to be comfortable with nudity. The place that needed cleaning is a nude photography studio. The person also said there was a position open for modeling for fifteen bucks an hour. I felt like laughing out loud at my computer chair but was a little too shocked about my job inquiry to do so.

Conclusion: Craigs List is amazing and could potentially make for a good story. :)

Kinetics, Roundabout, and Mia

2008-11-08T17:40:00.000-08:00

Satisfaction is finishing a enzyme kinetics take home test. Several hours and six pages later, I can set enzyme kinetics aside until the final. My next endeavor in biochemistry is to catch up on the carbohydrate chapter that I have basically done no studying on in an effort to digest enzyme kinetics. Ah, sounds like a fabulous Sunday afternoon form of entertainment. :)

So, the talk of my awesome tiny little town is the new roundabout. There are two factions of people. One group is excited that there will be some form of entertainment in town. In other words, we are talking about standing in the middle of the roundabout and watching people flip out because they have never encountered such a newfangled concept in all of their life. Then there is the the resentful faction. They question why the roundabout with literally 46 signs in it had to be put in the middle of town and ruin the groove of everything. My sister exemplifies this group in that she refuses to go into it and will go the long way through several grocery store parking lots to avoid it.

I found a new quote I love! Time to grab out the notebook of awesome random cool sayings.
"The vision of a champion is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when nobody else is looking." - mia hamm

Spaghetti Dinner

2008-11-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Woo hoo!!! Time for another spaghetti dinner. This strategy worked extremely well when I was raising for Africa, so I am going to try another one. Plus, it is a blast to make lots of spaghetti and just feed people. So, if anyone is interested in coming, it's on November 15th. So what if you live in another state? Fly down! :) He he...Just kidding, but you really are going to miss out on some killer spaghetti. ;)

Chicken With No Head!!!!!

2008-11-05T13:53:00.001-08:00

Never thought I could say I was stoked about gram positive cocci. Well, I am. I found some and that makes my life a bazillion times easier. Woo hoo!!!! God is good. :) Took half of my biochem test today and think I did pretty good. I get the other half as a take-home on Friday...So, I have reached that point in the semester where I can see that the rest is going to absolutely fly by. It is so busy I will forget to count down the days to graduation. In the next two weeks, I have a biochem test, my micro lab project to finish, a presentation to give in toxicology, a micro lab test, and lots of homework. I better not blink or I might miss the last few weeks of my senior year. :)

I have two more fundraisers in the works coming up, so I am excited about that. I am trying to get a spaghetti dinner organized for November which had great success last time I did one. And also a servant auction during finals week that myself and another friend going to YWAM are planning.

Time to sign out. Tox lecture starts in like 4 minutes.

Success and Failure

2008-11-03T15:56:00.000-08:00

Praise for the day. I successfully averted a parking ticket! :) I was walking to my car after lab today and saw a piece of paper on my windshield. I didn't think much of it until I realized no one else had one on their window. Dang it! I can't afford a ticket. I forgot to put my parking permit on my mirror. Ooops. So, I went to the sheriff's department on campus, handed them my ticket and parking permit and smiled really big. Ha ha...just kidding. I gave it to a girl who just checked I'd actually had the permit as long as I said I had. Success was mine!

And super worried about micro lab. I am not having any success whatsoever on my tests and isolations. This especially worries me since it is like 75% of my grade. Well, all I can do is continue to do my best and trust that God has it in His hands...That is a little hard considering the potential of not graduating because of a darn lab.

The Weekend Thus Far

2008-11-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

It's been an eventful weekend so far.... :) On Halloween, Em, S, Ty, and I all dressed up. Emily was a fairy-no wait, pixie-Sarah was a hippie just like she is everyday, Ty was....Ty, and I was a cowgirl. I was proud, because everything for my costume was in my closet. Thank you, Sarah, for the ingenuity! Ha ha...So, we went to an art show that Em had a piece in and looked at art. But mostly ate the food that they had. Yay for mini candy bars and sugar cookies. Then Hastings to play Guitar Hero for a while. I may hit up Hastings every once in a while from now on and see if I can gain expert level. :) Then we watched a scary movie. So, if you want a good one, watch "The Strangers". Emily and I are pretty desensitized to them, because we have watched so many, but this was a good one. I'll never forget Em over on the couch literally screaming and Sarah and I cracking up at her. That was fun...

Then last night, went over to C and P's for an adios party for B. Leaving for Japan for 6 months to do missions work. Woo hoo!! We had pie tasty pecan pie, went for a walk downtown after it got dark, and just chilled. So, it is the perfect time for walking. Crunchy leaves are my friend!!! And I got to hold a friend's little tiny baby who was only like 3 months old. He fell asleep in my arms which basically made my entire day. :)

And now off to babysit for the day. My two short little heroes that I have in Sunday School I get to spend the day with while their parents go to Denver. Woo hoo! Wish me luck..... ;)

The Weirdness of Everyday Life

2008-10-30T11:22:00.001-07:00

So, a blog is about writing about your everyday life, right? Okay, so my everyday life. I cannot remember if I mentioned the new project we are doing in micro. We get a tube with two unknown bacterial cultures in it. We have to isolate them and then identify them based on different tests we perform in lab. And because I am weird, I have decided to blog about it as I go. He he...maybe some poor soul will be inspired to be a medical technologist.
So, first we take the tube and use a loop to streak out on an isolation plate. The point of this is to get colonies to grow. Theoretically, each colony is a pure clone and we can separate the two bacterial types. Well, there are several of us in lab that have grown colonies but can see no difference in colony morphology. Hmm...The solution has been to take a few random samples of the colonies, look at them under the microscope and hope they differ up close. So, I did that and I believe I have a gram positive and gram negative both rod shaped. Gram negative and gram positive are distinguished by a method called gram stain. The difference comes about because of the cell wall of the bacteria. Anyway, I took these colonies and streaked them out on separate TSA plates, so my gram negative and gram positive-once again theoretically-are on separate media. From here, I can do my tests to determine the classification. I plan on going in early tomorrow morning before class and trying to get this done.

As far as "normal" life goes, I am studying for a physics test. Wait, I take that back. I am blogging when I should study for a physics test. :) After that, the agenda includes studying for a biochemistry test and doing micro homework. Talking about all of that inspires me to get off the internet and get down to business. :)

By the way, I think life would be way cooler if I was in a middle eastern country like someone I know..... :)

Trust and a Highlight

2008-10-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

"Let any man turn to God in earnest, let him begin to exercise himself unto godliness, let him seek to develop his powers of spiritual receptivity by trust and obedience and humility, and the results will exceed anything he may have hoped in his leaner and weaker days".
The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer

Trust. That is a big one I am currently learning. I have no idea what the future holds and this requires a trust that He is capable and will provide. Not only that, He knows exactly what the future holds and is ready to tell me about it as I need to know.

So, my guy left last night. It was a slightly quiet and unusual day since I didn't hear from him at all. I was very happy to get on Facebook and find out that he ended up getting internet while they were in Ireland-yes, I said Ireland-on their way to Iraq. I don't think I'll ever get over being jealous that he was in Ireland.... :)

Raffle!!!!!!!!

2008-10-23T11:28:00.001-07:00

HELP DANIKA GET TO YWAM (YOUTH WITH A MISSION)

AMISH BENTWOOD ROCKER RAFFLE

LOOKING FOR A CHRISTMAS PRESENT FOR SOMEONE OR WANT A ROCKING CHAIR FOR YOURSELF?

1 TICKET FOR $5 OR 3 TICKETS FOR $10!!!!!

EMAIL ME AT TWINKIESAREGROSS@GMAIL.COM

DRAWING ON DECEMBER 11TH, JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

Also, if anyone is interested in helping me out by selling tickets, that would be most amazing. :)

Tests and Stuff. What's New?

2008-10-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

Two tests down for the day! I had my microbiology exam and environmental toxicology test today. I wish to forget about them until I have them handed back to me in a few days. So, that is all I will say about that....

So, fascinating thought. What is it that keeps us from truly entering into the presence of Jesus? It is not just sins or struggles that we have, but more specifically sins and struggles that essentially make us who we are. I have to recognize these things and allow God to take them away. Him taking these things away is much more painful than many other things due to how "incorporated" into me it is. I am realizing that the thing holding me back from this deeper relationship with Him is my plans. My drive for accomplishment and the plans I've had for forever and a day and the selfishness that comes along with that hinders what He truly wants for me and the peace that comes with surrendering to that.

Time to go. Physics lab is in a few minutes. Looking at electromagnetic waves today. Hmmm, well, I only have six more labs. Wahoo!!!!!

The List and YWAM Update

2008-10-21T06:46:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am back in a sane state of mind. That last post was written at approximately 2 am after a week of very little sleep and a very crazy conversation. In any case, God is good, and my mindset is where it should be.

Progress report: Yard sale on Saturday went well. I officially have nothing in my room except textbooks, my bed, and clothes. It is beautiful! Thank you, Jesus, for great weather and amazing friends who helped me out. My next order of business is likely going to be a raffle. I should get that organized and have it set up in the next few days....I will keep everyone updated. Additionally, I got the first "real" e-mail from my DTS leader talking about some of the details of what will be going on. We will have 12 weeks of training, 8 weeks of outreach, and 1 week of debriefing. That e-mail really hit me upside the head. Whoa! I can hardly believe I am seriously doing this....I will admit that I have never been away from my family for more than a month, so this is going to be a new experience for sure.

My To-Do List for Tuesday:
-Study for the Microbiology test I have tomorrow.
-Study for the Environmental Toxicology test I have tomorrow.
-Work on the extra credit for Environmental Toxicology which has something to do with reading labels on everyday household products.
-Do my physics homework. Or the stuff I can figure out.
-Work on enzyme kinematics homework for biochem
-Study for the biochem test that is coming up in the next week or so.

What is there to say?

2008-10-18T00:30:00.000-07:00

It feels like I'm never going to sleep again. For once in my life, I legitimately have something to be afraid of, and I am not sure how to handle it. Obviously, internalizing it doesn't work. I wish I could provide the reassurance, but there is none. I wish I had answers, but there are none. One minute I am so happy that something great has happened to me. The next minute I wonder why it happened, because it is so close to walking out the door.

Sure, anyone can say that they trust God. Anyone can say my life is in His hands. Or someone else's life is in His hands. It is whole different ball game to have to actually do it. That feeling of helplessness is endlessly frustrating. I'm torn between trying to be a source of strength, knowing I can't be and wanting to shrink and be five again to not think about these things, knowing I can't do that either.

Hmm....

2008-10-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

So, once again, I can't sleep. This is weird coming from the person who worships sleep. Religiously gets at least 8 hours every night. Nine preferred. So much to think about.

I am getting everything ready for my yard sale. I realize how much the treasures of this world really are junk. I strove so hard to get these things that I thought were so important. I realize now that most of those things end up in a closet forgotten. I like this feeling of selling basically everything I own and really having no worries or ties to objects. I will keep what I need to survive along with some of my favorite kid toys and notebooks of my years of scribbling and leave the rest.

Graduating in 9 weeks. What am I going to do with my life? How is the real world going to be? I'm excited to meet it, but also a little afraid. Woo hoo for owning one plate, a fork, and a sleeping bag. Bring it on, baby! :)

So, I feel like I finally got used to being a few thousand miles away from L and communicating through texting and phone calls. Suddenly, in 13 days that will once again change. Letters and the occasional phone call. Which is fine. I am excited for both of us. God has a plan for the adventures that we are about to go out on. I have a lot of thoughts in my head about the situation, but don't really know what to say. I could think for hours about it. But if you asked me what was in my head, I couldn't give you an answer.

Yard sale on Saturday!!!! Just to remind anyone who is interested in coming. ;) I can give the info to anyone who is interested.

In Other News....

2008-10-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

Random Happenings or Updates:

-I have my ticket to Hawaii.

-I am doing a yard sale this Saturday to raise money for YWAM. If you are interested in coming, I can give you the location!!!

-Today's quote: My friend: "Hey, geek". Me to friend: "Hey, nerd". Friend: "Burn!!!". Ha, I win. ;)

-Another physics test is checked off the list successfully. This one was on currents, resistors, and magnets. Ohms? Yes, Ohms. I should know if the topics were really as interesting as I currently think they are when I get my test back....

-So, myself and some of my friends are going to go to homecoming this Thursday night at school. A pulled a Sadie Hawkins, trying to find some guys to go with us. My opinion of going by ourselves won out. Ha! So, three girls are gonna go crash the homecoming dance. Woo hoo!!!!

Realizing there are things in my heart that are put before God. Only when I take these things off the throne of my heart and put Him on it can I experience His presence fully. I am taking the leap and asking Him to weed the things out that are too important to Him. It is going to hurt in the midst of it, but I know the result will be a relationship with Him that is worth the pain and frustration.

Aaron Shust and Watch Over Me

2008-10-11T09:36:00.000-07:00

The Gaping Black Hole of Senioritis

2008-10-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

Struggling to keep my mind where it should be: rooted in the blessings He has given me in the present. I have a tendency to constantly look at the future and the next big thing. Finding out that I got into YWAM has only made my case of senioritis worse. Rather than something I had to beat up on an hourly basis, it is a gaping hole of nothingness I can't run away from. :) I am trying to find a balance between doing my best and working hard and enjoying this part of life that is about to end. What a weird thought...

Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.

On this vein, I have chosen to call my Friday evening homework at 4 or 5 hours and end the night watching a movie. :) He he...

I'm going....

2008-10-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Beginning in the summer of 2006, God revealed to me His heart for the people of the world—specifically the orphaned and widowed people of the world—when I was able to work with orphans in Kenya and Uganda. I have a burning desire to be His hands and feet to these people. A huge door has opened for me to pursue this passion. I will be graduating in December of 2008. I have been accepted to YWAM’s Discipleship Training School (DTS) which begins January 1^st, 2009 and runs through May 29^th, 2009. YWAM is the second largest missions organization in the world, training and sending out numerous people to serve Him all over the world.

My particular training base will be located in Kona, Hawaii. The first weeks of the school are weeks of training in which I will be taught how to know God and how to make Him known to the world through such topics as God’s heart for the poor and needy, missions and evangelism, listening to God, and spiritual gifts.

The second part of the DTS consists of a field assignment. The field assignment will take us into the heart of cultural and national conflicts. We will be working alongside fellow Christians who are working to bring reconciliation in places of conflict. The exact location is still unsure, but it will be based on which location is the safest at the time and where God leads each individual. Some of the places that DTS students travel to include Cambodia, Turkey, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Nepal, Uganda, and Morocco.

I am writing this letter to ask if you would be willing to support me in this adventure. Whether it is through a one time donation, monthly support, or battling for me in prayer, I would sincerely appreciate it.

361 Evelyn Drive

Canon City, Colorado

81212

(719)429-6252

May God bless and keep you!!

Cali Weekend

2008-10-06T15:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, I want to a ball. A really fancy ball. I wore a dress that had like 3 parts and like 27 zippers. And I had on hanging earrings, makeup, and did my hair. Shocking, yes. Even more shocking? I actually did really enjoy it. I can try to hide it by making fun of dressing up, but it was great. :)

One of the best parts of the weekend? Being on a jetty, looking for cool ocean creatures. All of a sudden while I am looking at the shore, not looking at the ocean, I am suddenly soaked. Yup, the tide was coming in. Very suddenly. Without warning. I was dripping basically. That was great....

I am very thankful I got to see L. Kinda random that I actually got to go out, and it was definitely God that put it together. Now I have lots of good stories and am once again counting down the days until I get to see him again. :) Just kidding. Taking it one day at a time. I keep hearing it will be here before I know it. We'll see... :)

On a random side note, I should know whether I am accepted in the Kona DTS by Thursday. On pins and needles currently, obsessively checking my e-mail...

Adios!

2008-10-02T08:18:00.000-07:00

So, I am currently wasting time until I drive off to Denver to fly off to California, to chill in an airport, to SEE L!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo hoo! I'm basically off the face of the planet until Sunday night unless I get home Sunday night, realize I have so much to do, do it, and then don't actually arrive on the internet world until Tuesday. Hmmm, I suppose it is a possibility. Anyway...I will post-hopefully-pics when I get back. Until then, have a great weekend! :)

Oh, boy...

2008-10-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

"What we ask reveals what we consider important. What we consider important determines what we find out. What we find out informs what we choose to say or do. If we aren't asking the right questions, we can't even imagine what we ought to say. If we are asking the right questions, it gives body to whatever we're thinking of saying next."

God, give me wisdom to ask the right questions. Ask the ones that are actually important. Give me wisdom in this situation and show me how I can best glorify You.

Ultimate Coolness

2008-09-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Go ultimate frisbee. So, I discovered that there is a group of people who play Ultimate every Sunday in town. Whoa...Didn't know Canon had graduated to that level of coolness. So, I went out and played. Our team won which was pretty fun.

I'm so proud of myself. I didn't do any homework yesterday. Church, ultimate frisbee, and watching movies with Kenny and Carly just took up the whole day. Guess homework wasn't on the top of that list. ;) Actually, I really didn't have any to do. Woo hoo!

And now it is Monday. Time to get busy again. But I only have a three day week which I am pretty stoked about. :)

Hola Weekend!

2008-09-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

Hello, weekend!!

My week caught up with me, so Friday I crashed at 11. Yay for an early night. After my sister and I had a little too much fun having the house to ourselves. Turned up the music as loud as we wanted, watched movies, and made quite a bit of a mess in the kitchen. Which we of course cleaned up prior to the rest of our family returning. :)

Today: Homework mostly. But now off to M's 20th birthday party. I am dressed up like a chick from the 80s. Woo hoo! Stole a 80s rocker t-shirt from my sister's closet. It has wolves and lightning on it if that gives you any idea. Also stole a bracelet and glasses from her. Come to think of it, Emily was totally born in the wrong decade. :)

Tomorrow, church! And afer that, hopefully some ultimate frisbee.... *crossing fingers*

Happy weekend to all!

5/16 done with the school semester to any who are counting....

Hamburger Eraser and Electricity

2008-09-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

What bio students do after a long day of 3 tests and one quiz....We discharge conductors on ourselves in physics lab. It was only 6 volts. There should not be any brain damage. At least I haven't noticed any. Also known as finding the humor in life and enjoying every minute of the day. As long as my biochem test is over....

So, yes, thank Jesus I am done with my crazy Wednesday. I will continue to work hard, and with His hand on the situation I am going to get through my classes on top of things.

I used my amazing hamburger eraser on my tests today. Hopefully that transferred some degree of "right answerness" to the page. I'll find out on Friday or this coming up Monday.

My micro teacher today told us he was doing an experiment on us. He exposes us to UV rays while we are in lab. He is doing it to bring about mutations in us and use us for genomic products. He's going to make millions unfortunately. I told him as long as he gives me an A before he runs off to Jamaica, I'm fine with that...

So....7.5 more days until Cali! Woo hoo! :)

Bring It On!

2008-09-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

So, tomorrow I have three tests: environmental toxicology, biochemistry, and micro lab written test. I also have a possibility of two quizzes-in microbiology and physics. Bring it on! And I plan on celebrating tomorrow night...

Occurrences/Observations/Funny/Random

2008-09-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

Funny/Interesting Occurrences/Observations for the Day:

-The teacher from Africa who talked about hydrogen parasite. It was supposed to be hydrogen peroxide....

-Me learning that gram stain could in fact transfer from ones fingers to ones face. I found that out after I got home from school unfortunately. Wonder how long I had a little purple dot on my cheek. Ha!

-I actually went to bed at like 10 last night. Okay, more like 10:10, but I was still very proud of myself. Therefore, I woke up this morning feeling rested. Wahoo!

-Frosted Mini Wheats are disgusting when soggy. Wait, anything is disgusting when soggy. Including pancakes and syrup.

-I realize that excitement for graduating is good and positive, but the amount of "freakoutishness" I have about busting through it is not.

-Interesting concept. The Bible is not an end. It is merely a means in which to get to know Him in a more personal sense. I understand that, but am not completely sure how to wrap my mind around it. Up until now, my relationship with God has been merely through reading. Yes, He shows me His love and faithfulness, but that was on His end. Now it is on my end to get to know him real and personally, and I am trying to figure that out....

Another Vent

2008-09-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

So, I have five minutes to summarize life before I must be off to school. Hmmm, I guess I don't really feel like saying anything. I'm so frustrated really. Why does life have to be so ridiculously predictable? You know it will happen as it has every other time in the past, but you cross your fingers for once it won't. Of course it does. This is just a vent. Life is not over and I will work through things, but that's what is currently in the brain...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Wish Me Luck

2008-09-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

Wish me luck. I have two tests this manana. Physics at 11 and microbiology at 10. Ready to kick these tests in the butt and be that much closer to graduation. Woo hoo! Yes, I am excited to graduate.

Oh, and I also found a dress to wear to the....ball. My carpool buddy was in a really fancy wedding earlier this summer. Amazingly, the dress fit perfectly, so I will be wearing it and saving mucho dinero. Now I just have to start studying outside in order to get rid of the tan I got from the farm. Sports bra tan does not fit with evening gown with a halter top. Ha!

Study My Rear Off!!!

2008-09-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it is officially my "catch up day". Thursdays I do not have classes; therefore, I use it to study. I went to sleep at 10:30ish and happily got to talk to a...friend until almost midnight. Good thing I didn't have to get up early for school. Anyway, I got up at about 7:30 when my Mom yelled at my brothers to wake up. Hmm, guess that whole thing about my Dad and I not putting any insulation into my walls sometimes stinks. Anyway, I laid there until 8:00ish. Then I got up, put some laundry in the washer, cause I really have no socks now, cleaned my bathroom, and am currently blogging. I have fifteen minutes until I need to hit the books.
The To Do List:
-Study for physics test (Happens tomorrow at 11)
-Study for micro test (Happens tomorrow at 10)
-Study for biochem test (Happens next Wednesday at 12)
-Study for environmental toxicology (Happens next Wednesday at 3)
-Catch up on biochem homework
-Do biochem homework problems
-Catch up on reading for micro
-Study my amino acids
-Study for micro lab practicum (Happens Monday at 1)
-Study for micro lab written test (Happens Wednesday at 1)

Woo hoo! Here I go...All the while listening to my new Pandora station which includes Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban, Dierks Bentley....It's gonna be a good day. ;)

Random and Irresponsible

2008-09-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

So I finally get pka's. Good thing since I have a test a week from today. I also realize that I am 20 years old and I still have glowey stars on my ceiling. I also realize that the world is so much bigger than I realized. Whoa...there is so much out there. And I am so ready to meet it. Ready to graduate and take it on. Woo hoo! Oh, I also had to go to Wally World at the insane hour of 7:30 this morning to buy socks and a toothbrush. Stark opposite of the world being a huge place. It is also very small when your life consists of buying a bag of socks and a toothbrush. Which is dumbly expensive by the way. How can the world be so small and so big at the same time?

Did I inform you all that I am going to California in a matter of two and half weeks. Random? Yes. Irresponsible? Yes. But I am rarely the second so I need to do it. Often the first so I must keep up the tradition.

Pictures

2008-09-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

My JIB peeps at the first football game of the season. We ended up rolling/skating/wrestling down the astroturf hill more than we actually paid attention to the game. These girls are completely amazing.
And of course Luke. Right before he left. So, I'm trying not to be super sad. I get to see him in two and half weeks though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can hardly believe my luck. ;)

YWAM

2008-09-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

So, to expound on YWAM and all things DTS. YWAM is the second largest missions organization in the world. They have bases in nearly every country worldwide. A DTS is composed of 3 months of lecture and training and 2 months of application on the field. My particular DTS-either Justice DTS or X-Treme Places DTS-will be based in Kona, Hawaii. I chose this base because it is one of the main centers for the International Health Graduate certification program. This is the program I am looking into getting into. A DTS would be the first step. After that, I will be able to move on to specific classes such as vaccinating in third world countries, teaching infant care to mothers, etc. I am really looking forward to hearing back from YWAM within the next month to see if I have been accepted.

Yup...

2008-09-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am convinced that this is the craziest semester I have had yet. Unless I forgot what it felt like over the summer...Still not quite sure about that. In any case, I thought I might have some extra time this semester but that is very much not true. Ah well, I am so close that I can deal with it for thirteen more weeks. I have definitely diagnosed myself with senioritis....

First two tests coming up this Friday: microbiology and physics II. Starting studying now. Then environmental toxicology and biochemistry the next Wednesday. I need to get the amino acids memorized!! Made my flash cards and have been carrying them with me wherever I go. :)

Turned in my application for the YWAM DTS starting in January. I have no clue when I find out, but am totally looking forward to finding out!

Giving up....

2008-09-10T08:25:00.001-07:00

I have officially been forced to give up. My homework load is so crazy I must be content with doing what I can and leaving the rest. It is insane to stress until it is done. I got one physics assignment done-a whole "day off" later-only to go on the internet and find one twice as big due this Saturday. And not to mention I have four tests coming up next week and the next Monday. Wait, five...I just found out about another one. :) On top of that, my car appears as if it may be slowly dying. I can no longer worry. I have to take each day as it comes and find my peace and joy in Him. He knows what He is doing. It will all work out. Until then, I am choosing to enjoy my funny physics problems about electric forces on bumblebees, memorizing biochemistry amino acids, coaxing my car to run, and hanging out with Him all day.

Please Pray

2008-09-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

I know the amount of people reading my blog has dwindled quite a bit in the last while. I haven't kept up very well on frequenting other blogs. To those who do read, however, I am asking for prayers for my friend L***. He is a marine who left for his base yesterday. He deploys to Iraq in the middle of October. God has been so good in setting up the opportunity for me to meet him. We met while he was on leave for 17 days. I had met his mom about a year ago when she set me up with a house in Pueblo. In any case, God set up an opportunity for us to meet through a random course of events while he was here. I will miss him lots and am already counting down the days for when I get to see him next summer. :)

Check out the cool comic. Thanks, Rabenstrange!!

Blurb

2008-09-03T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hell day starts in a mere 28 minutes. Yes, I start at 10 and have classes straight until 6 o'clock. It is worth not having to go to classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays however. Although I have ended up in Pueblo every single day this week so far, and tomorrow will be no exception. Ah well, such is the nature of life I suppose.

Ha! I can keep up while running with Marines. I am going to be forced to add this to the annals of Danika awesomeness. Two miles, kept up the pace. I am trying to get back into shape after recovering from a hip injury this summer. The plan is to play intramural soccer this semester....

Eels and MRE's

2008-09-02T09:49:00.000-07:00

So I tried eel for the first time last night. Interesting. I was definitely not a huge fan. The California rolls were good. And I ate the whole meal with chopsticks. Yes, I am proud of myself. Now I can say I have officially been introduced to Japanese food. :)

God is mind boggling really. I am so confused as to why He would choose to do this particular thing. It is very exciting and also very scary.

MRE. ha, yes, I had one. Didn't eat the whole thing. I have heard that could be disastrous. What I had though was tasty. I was rather impressed at all that could fit in to be quite honest. Who would want to eat that three times a day though. Guess there is more to the military than long runs and cool weapons...

Eh....

2008-09-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

So, it is Labor Day, and I am at school. Tragic really. CSU-P is very likely the only school in all of Colorado to hold classes today. I must remember to go out and cry after classes. Eh, where would that get me? Nowhere. So, instead, I'll sit here waiting for class, wasting time on the internet....